Never judge a book by its cover

I'm guessing everyone's heard of that line before; "Never judge a book by its cover." Last 2 weeks ago, my dad suggested to try this Thai restaurant out near our area after church. We never knew there were Thai restos around our area. This place was near a residential area, located in the corner beside a house, very small, dark, and seems from the outside looks like there were not many people inside. Unfortunately, they closed on sundays. I knew that it was a sign that we should'nt even bother going inside because probably it wouldnt be good. That following week, my dad was still curious and anxious, so we gave it another visit. It was open this time. Throughout the ride from our house to the resto, my mom and I made a bet with my dad that if this resto wasnt good, he'll give ME 50$. hahah....I really didnt had the tastebuds to go to a resto especially if it is not crowded. To make the story short, I was wrong. The food was delicious. It was beyong my expectation, and the service was so friendly and warm. They were very welcoming. While I was waiting for my food, I watched customers ordering to go and picking their food up, and I saw how close the customers were to the manager. They seemed to be an all time customer. Gosh, I felt so bad, because I judged their resto from the way it looked outside. I was so surprised how good this place was, but on top of that, how great of an experience I had here.

So whats the lesson? NEVER JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COVER. After this experience, I truly learn to look outside the box, think bigger, and defintely not judge something that we dont know. I truly felt bad :(

I have been so lazy to blog lately. Usually throughout the day, I would have things in mind and stories to share, but when I get home, I'm sleep til 4 am. On thursdaalready too tired to blog. Either its already too late, or I'm just not in the mood. I twitter instead. Nothing much has been going on. Nothing so interesting? Summer seems so long, and I'm trying to find some activity that will keep me busy. I actually found one, and I'm starting on this project starting tomorrow. I hope by the end of summer, I will be a PRO and hope to jump to the next level.

Lately, I've been sleeping really late. This past week, I've been undergoing a really horrible lack of sleep. I drank coffee and I couldnt sleep till 5.30 am. The next day, I drank green tea that has caffeine, and couldnt sleep til 4 am. The next day, I slept at 3am, woke up at 8am to work the whole day. On saturday (yesterday), I slept around 1am, woke up at 7am for music practice. Ahhh, I'm not getting enough sleep. YEA, its my fault. :( I love coffee, I really do, but I have to stop drinking it! My body cant take any more coffee, or any kind of caffeine. I have jitters and start to shake badly. haizz....I'm so stubborn!

I've been addicted to Prison Break. In fact, I have been watching this show for the past few weeks, everyday! ahhh. It's so addicting. Great show. Great actors. Great storyline. Michael Scofield, a.k.a Wentworth Miller is definetly a hottie! His such a great actor!!! ahhhhh, im in love with him! hehe...

OK im gonna head to bed now. Sorry for this choppy blog. God bless!

xoxo, Jess

Hey everybody...

Hope you guys had a great weekend. As for me, my weekend was alright, except the fact that I think I'm getting sick. I don't know if it was probably the Thai food that I ate today for dinner, or maybe I just caught it? I feel so ill these couple of hours. I feel like throwing up, but it wont come out. My body feels cold, but it's warm. My throat hurt when I swallow. I'm not coughing or have stuffy nose, thank God. I think it was because I went home so late around 2am last night after watching Transformers. I wore shorts and a tank top due to the heat outside (it was hot at night). I hope I get better soon.

Anyway, so far, my summer has been fun/boring/unproductive. I guess its a mix of all three things in some days. I should have taken summer school, but I thought I was going back to Indo that is why I didnt take summer class. I havent gone back for almost 2 years, and although most of my family is here in US, 80% of them are still in Indo, and I just want to see them again cause I miss them dearly. Life in US and Indo' is completely different, totally the opposite. I said once that I dont see myself living there, but I dont mind a vacation. A couple of weeks to a month is perfect for me, but more than 1 month, I dont think I'll be able to stand the heat and crazyness of Indonesia. I cant even stand a day of the heat and traffic!

I'm still working on my OASIS, and hopefully to get it done by the end of july, because I really need to get that out of the way. I'm the Queen when it comes to procrastination. I procrastinate alot, and it's such a bad habit. It's not a good thing, and I'm still learning to stop procrastinating and start DOING IT! I actually take that back. hehe. ^^ I'm not as horrible as you think. I procrastinate, but by the end of the day, I'll feel bad for not doing it, so I end up doing it anyways. I'll feel guilty if I dont! So, I procrastinate, but show some action in the end. Not bad right? hehehe. Talking about procrastination, tomorrow would be a great day to finish up my Oasis because mondays are a laid back day for me.

It's 12 am right now, and I'm gonna try to get some sleep. Need to get as much rest as I can. I slept at 3 am last night :/ Goodnite everyonee.





trying my best....

lonely friday night

It's Friday night, and where am I? at home!!! :( I usually work on Friday nights, but we planned to go San Diego this tonight, that is why I didn't work. And guess what happens? People bail out on me! Guys oh guys...they don't want to drive, so we didnt end up going, and decided to fly next week. I was looking forward to it too! I could have work and enjoyed my friday night at work...(yes I enjoy working) heheh....Despite of the crazyness and hecticness, I enjoy working fridays. I'm stuck at home right now. :( I guess I shouldnt complain...

Anyway, yesterday at work, I experienced something very unatural, out of the ordinary and may I say wierd? Theres this old chinese guy that has been coming to my workplace every week since last year, and he never comes with this family or friends, only himself. He is beyond wierd. He smiles and laughs out of nowhere, he stares at me and ahhhh, it gives me the chills! To make the story short, while he was waiting for his table, he handed me his number inside this tiny envelope. Inside that tiny envelope was a USB memory stick. He told me, "You can throw away that memory stick, but keep my number." First of all, why would he give me his number inside an envelope along with a memory stick if he told me to throw it away? why couldnt he just give me the number without the envelope inside with the memory stick? And what's more creepier is behind his number, was a name card from a PHD from NY University from the health/Psychology department. His probably a patient there? To think of it, it makes sense. He has some brain problems....I know this is so mean of me to say this, but only if you knew him, you would understand how totally creepy he is. A customer even told me how creepy he was. I clocked out earlier yesterday, told my manager the story, and when i was i the back, he asked where i was to my coworker. my goooodnesss.....Thank God I have a manager who truly cares about my safety! I need to stop being nice to customers. Some takes it the wrong way. This sucks...

So, I will head out alone and hope for the best
We can pat ourselves on the back and say that we tried
And if one of us makes it big
We can spill our regrets
And talk about how the love never dies
But you and I know the reason why...

These past few days, everywhere I go, seems to remind me of it. It's funny that a small thing can go a long way. My friend kept mentioning about it. Am I supposed to stay quiet, and pretend that I did'nt hear what he/she said? Am I supposed to lie and hide my face from the truth? Its been a long while that I went there, and going back there brings back so many memories. I try to keep all the good, and throw all the bad. As much as I hated my friend for mentioning it, I also hated the feeling of having to hide. I dont want to remember anymore. I want to forget it all. I want to step forward, not step back. I think I did pretty well all this time, and yes, I have completely let go. Maybe there are just some things that can not be forgotten permanently, like memories and places that I once went. I stood near that bench, smiled and your face quickly disappeared. Its so funny the many areas that reminds me of it.

I stood there, gazed around the beautiful city, and sniffed the afternoon breeze, but all i can remember is it. Its the ambiance, I'll get over it soon...

CHI Silk Infusion

Damaged Hair? Dry hair? CHI Silk Infusion is your answer to a perfect soft and silky hair! I'm terrible at adverstising, but this CHI Silk Infusion works like magic. No kidding. You know how some products say they work, and "worth it" to buy but really it isn't? Well, this product will amaze those with damaged and dry hair. My hair is not oily, and is not dry. BUT, I use hot tools very oftenly to achieve my desired hair, and yes, it does damages my hair if I dont use any syrum. I've also noticed that my split ends are getting worser and worser, and if you dont know me, HAIR is my number #1 concern, then skincare. I cant manage to have dry damaged hair, and if I do, I just dont feel confident. Everyone has something that their not confident about right? Well, this is mines.

Long before I discovered this amazing product, I tried many products to heal my damaged and dry hair. From all kinds of syrum and spray, anything you can possibly imagine. BUT, none of those products compared to CHI Silk Infusion. When I read reviews online, I felt hopeless and had figured that maybe this product is just like the other products I've tried. I was skeptical, but I gave it a try anyway, and bought this product near my local beauty store. When I first tried it, it was HEAVEN! haha....sorry for my cheesyness, but seriously, its so magical! It makes my hair softer, silkier, sleeek, shiny, and just beautiful!

CHI Silk Infusion is enriched with pure natural silk, wheat and soy proteins, leaving your hair silky softness, super manageability and unbeatable shine. It protects your hair against thermal styling. If you're the type of person who uses curling and flat irons, this is probably the best product I would recommend. The texture is very oily, smells like orange. Pour a little in your hands and rub or stroke throroughly in your hair before prepping and ironing you hair. You can put it in either damped or dry hair. A little goes along the way, so don't put too much because it is oily, but the good thing is that it DOESNT make your hair looking oily. You know how some products makes your hair super oily? CHI Silk Infusion doesnt give you that oily looking hair.

Enjoy your soft and silky hair! ^^

Weekend

I hope everyone had a great weekend, cause I sure did! :) On saturday, I accompanied Jastien at the office for an hour. That was probably the shortest I've hung out in the office on a saturday cause usually it is 6-8 hours long filled with "nothing-to-do-ness". You have no idea how happy I was. I also accompanied him to get a hair cut, which was probably the fastest hair experience. Cutting guy's hair is super fast comparing to women! After that, we had dim sum, then had frozen yogurt, then we went to stroll down in SR, known as Santana Row. I love going there on Saturdays. I never seem to get tired or bored of that place, especially on saturdays! There are always events and music, and the environment is so relaxing! After strolling down in SR, we decided to cook some dinner at home. So, we went to Wholes Food and did some grocery shopping. I love grocery shopping with my hunny. He is the most patient guy ever! hahaa....I spend like, I dont know...hours deciding what to cook and what to buy and all the ingredients and what not, and his just so patient, but so picky! Btw, I love Wholes Food Market. It is probably my favorite grocery shopping market. Nothing compared to Safeway and Traders Joes!!! Too bad there is no Wholes Food near my area. Anyway, after hours of grocery shopping, we went to his place and turned on the grill! Had dinner, and watched endless episodes of Prison Break. I cant get enough of that show. Wentworth Miller is def` a hottie :)

Today, Fathers Day, I went to church and after church I took my family out to dinner. Food was so-so, service was bad. It didnt matter though, because I was surrounded with people who i love. Nothing beats more than a family. Did that make sense? hahaha...

Alright, honestly, I dont like doing these updates and "what I did" sort of thing, it reminds me of English class. Run on sentences...and essays that makes teachers fall asleep.

caio bella, goodnite :)
Jess

Q u i e t

There has been some things in my mind lately that I wish I had the answers to. I honestly wish I knew how my future will be like 3,4,5, or more years from now, but no one can depict the future right? I feel like I'm stuck in between. I feel like I know where my road is going to end, and right now, I dont think I want to end in that road, but I feel like I have no choice. I never thought it would be this hard to decide. I know it is still a couple years down the road, but there are decisions that needs to be discussed and planned before it is time to hit down that particular road. I dont know how my future will be like nor do I know how my life would be like 3-5 years from now, but I just have a feeling 100% that he may want to move back and live there for good, and for me, that is a huge decision. Maybe right now, I'm still close minded. Maybe later on, I will see that its not that bad after all moving out of the US? Maybe...I hope. As of right now, I dont see myself living else where. I honestly want to stay in the US, work here, raise my family here....live here till I die. I honestly dont see myself living back there. Its a huge decision for me. For him, it isnt so complicated, but for me, considering that I was grown here in the US, its gonna be a tough decision for me. Giving up everything...it's unbelievably hard to imagine. I dont wanna think about it, but c`mon, 3-4 years is just right around the corner! time flies by so quickly!

Well, I dont know. I honestly dont think worrying is gonna get me anywhere or give me any solution. I guess I`ll just have to let go and let God do His work. I know that when the time comes, whatever decision I make will be the right decision because wherever God places me, is the place where He wants me to be. :)

goodnight guys.

Jess

I had a bittersweet weekend. Started off in the wrong foot, but end the weekend with tears of happiness. I guess that's how I would put it. ^^

I'm so happy that I finally get to understand you more, though sometimes I feel like its hard to understand through your perspective, I've learned to place my position in your foot once in a while. I think now I'm getting a bigger picture, and I've learned to appreciate your hard work and passion you have in your field. Every week seems like I'm less seeing you, considering we only meet twice a week. Work on weekdays, and work on weekends. But I completely understand, you run a business and I know youre just doing you job. I also understand that you are so tired from work on saturdays and just wanna head home and rest, and though my heart doesnt accept, I've learned this week that you truly work so hard, and I'm really proud of you.

Happy big 2, little 4 huntut. I love you.

It's been a while since I blogged. I've been enjoying my summer, and even though I spend most of my mondays and tuesdays at home, I feel so relaxed and just love the feeling of sleeping and waking up late. I still havent decided what to do or where to go for this very long summer vacation, but I hope I figure out something soon! I really want to get out of the City, and go some place totally different. I just need to find the right time and the right place. I'm terrible at planning. Nothing ever comes out right, so I'm trying not to plan much. haha...



I'm so tired of san francico's weather. It's been nothing but ugly. These past few days has been cold, windy, not so foggy, but just plain ugly. Today was showering and so so foggy. Hatesss itttttt! I miss the warm hot weather. It doesnt even feel like summer. May it be summer or winter, it is always cold.

Alrighttt, I have nothing else to say for now. Till then :)

Decisions or decisions...

I never thought buying a car would be so difficult. The process itself is already confusing. My boyfriend is in the car industry and though he knows alot about cars, it can be too much! My parents wants me to get this, and he wants me to get that, and I'm stuck in the middle deciding which one is the perfect car for me. Safety is number one, price is number 2. At least that's the way I see it. Ahhh, I'm so confused. This is gonna take a long time....haiyaaaa.

I've been sitting in front of my laptop since yesterday night and today morning searching for the perfect car, but we all know my decision does not count because my parents would not agree anyways! I seriously need to get up and stop sitting in front of my laptop or else I`ll go crazy!

ahhh, help me!!!

Homemade Donuts

Last week, I twitted that I was making donuts at home, and promised to post up the final resutlt, but unfortunately the donuts was still super hot so I couldnt put the toppings on top or else it`ll melt. I had work that night as well, so I topped my donuts when I got home from work. I got tired after work, so I didnt have time to post the pics up. phew! That should explain everything :)

Making homemade donuts seems very simple, but it's not that simple. You need the right temperature for the dough and most of all, you gotta make sure its the perfect before you fry it. I used my grandma's recipe, and it turned out so perfect. ^^ My grandma is such a great cook, so it my mom. I hope one day I'll follow my mother's cooking step. :) I'm not a real big fan of donuts. I actually hate it. I hate the sweetness, the texture, and the aftermath of eating a donut. It almost makes me wanna puke. I can still have a donut if it's from Krispe Kreme, but if it was from any other donut shops, I'll pass. My grandma's recipe though is so delicious. It doesnt even taste like a real donut! It almost tastes like bread, but fried! Of course I wont give you guys the recipe, hahaha because its my family's recipe, but here is the process in making my homemade donuts:

So the first step I did was blend in all the ingredients (flour, sugar...etc...) in one big bowl, and stir with a electric stir for about an hour. Then, I rolled my dough in small balls like this:

Preheat you pan with oil in medium heat, and make sure it isnt on high because you dont want your donuts to be brown on the outside and uncooked on the inside. That's why its so important to put it on medium heat. Once you oil is already hot, toss one dough at a time to the hot oil. Use a chopstick to create a hole in the middle of the dough so it will look like a donut. I tend to spin it so the hole will look bigger and not close in.

After frying my donuts, I let it sit for as long as possible until its cool. Then its time to top our donuts!!!!! I use Krafts cheese, and De Ruijter chocolate sprinkles made from Holland. This is the final result:

(Im not used to posting pics, I'm still learing, so excuse me for the disfunctional look of the way I post pics up. ^^)

Another ramble

I'm so excited for tomorrow! Well, kinda. I'm going to Great America with some friends, and yeah, I know it kinda sounds corny but I havent been to Great America since high school and I love love love roller coaster, and Great America is probably the nearest theme parks here in Bay Area (Six Flags is further). The only ride that I dont dare myself to go is Drop Zone, and that's just because I know my body will not be capable to handle Drop Zone. haha....I will not go Drop Zone, and no one better force me to go `cause there is no way I'm riding that monster!

Today I woke up at 12pm. Unbelievable! ^^ My phone was on low bat last night and for some reason I forgot to charge my phone, and that is like the stupid-iest thing ever! So my phone died this morning, and I wasnt aware of the time. Usually, even during the weekends, I would set my alarm clock just so I dont oversleep, but today, my phone died and when I woke up I looked at my big clock and I literally jumped. (aaaaa, excuse me of my grammer n my very very long sentences ^^)

I dont know but for some reason, I've been really into the color blue lately. I bought 3 dresses that are blue. I dont know. Everything I pick out lately is blue and it looks great so that's why I bought it. :) Im not really a huge fan of the color blue itself, but this summer, I feel like blue is really in.

Ok, I'm really sleepy now. I dont even know why I'm blogging. As I'm writing this, my eyes are closing. goodnight everybody. Ill blog more tomorrow when I have enough energy :)

ta ta,
jess

Hey everybody,

I'm so glad to be home. Work was super busy, but it was one of those days where it's busy at every hour. So one hour it's slow, the next hour is busy. Kinda sucks, cause I rather have it busy all at once ^^ This morning I woke up 9.30 am, got ready, and went to downtown to do some shopping :) I havent gone shopping since finals week, and today was such a relieve! I got a cute peacock headband from urban outfitters, and a top from Abercrombie, but it was too big so I have to go back tomorrow to return it. ahhh, I should have tried it on before purchasing it. That's what I get for being in a rush! Tomorrow is another long day for me. I have to wake up at 6am tomorrow for music practice at 7 am for church. aaah, so early. why Adam? why 7 am? why not 8am? hehehe. I hope I can wake up, cause sometimes my alarm clock doesnt ring at all even though I already turn it on! I need a "live" wake up call!

These couple of days Ive been undergoing a major crisis, a.k.a "cankersore". It hurts to the max. It's so painful and disturbing. I cant even eat anything that is flavourful, big, and chewy cause it hurts so bad. A couple of days ago, I went to Chipotle with my friend and bought a burrito and I couldnt even eat that big thing! I gave it to my sis....Yesterday, I ate shabu2, and it was so painful because the sauce was so citrusy. What else? Today, I ate green curry for dinner and couldnt stop tearing up because it was so flavourful that it hurts my cankersore so bad. :( Just when one is healing, I have another one in my tounge. Sorry if this talk is disturbing, but I think its my dentist fault! haha... No, I think I just need to drink more water. Also, I tend to bite my tounge alot so I guess that's why? Ok enough of this talk. I hope it will heal soon, because I can't even smile :/

My Obsession of the Day #2

I think I'm going to start having "My Obsession of the Day" entries, because I have so much cravings from time to time...haha.

My favorite snack lately has been a avacado smoothie. Its's yummy, healthy, and its so easy to make. :) Avocado is rich in magnesium that reduces risk of excess belly fat, high blood pressure, high cholesterol and high blood sugar. If you have cholesterol, avacado is a good source of diet. Here is my avacado smoothie recipe (you can find them online, but this is the way I make them. Every recipe is quite alike. Told u its simple!):

-1 large avocado (add more avocado, depending how much you want to make)

-2 teaspoon milk

-1 cup of ice

-sugar (eye ball it)

Blend everything, and you got yourself a yummy avocado smoothie!

I honestly dont follow this recipe. I go by it, but I usually just eyeball how much sugar, ice, milk and avocado I put in. Put as much or as little as depending on your taste. It really isnt hard to make at all, you just need some dedication for avocados! yum ^^

5 Things that gross me out

There are probably not a lot of things that disgusts or gross me out, but these are 5 things that I find really disgusting. Here goes:

1.) Mice/insects- Anything that has to do with little insects such as bugs, cockroaches, spiders- you name it, gross me out so much! I hate looking at them and being near them. Speaking about it already gives me the itch. Mice also grosses me out. I just dont see why some people find them cute? Rats, mouse....I find them disgusting. I used to live in a house that has many mice, oh gosh, it was disgusting. I cant stand looking at their tails. It freaks me out...

2.) Public Restroom-Most, not all, public restroom grosses me out. If it was a 5-star hotel, or even say a regular hotel, and a nice fancy restaurant, then I dont mind using their restrooms. BUT, if it was mall or a fast food public restroom, I rather not use them. I dont understand why some people do not flush. I mean, I understand it's a public restroom and it is supossed to stink and what not, but please flush. It's not so hard to flush and clean after yourselves, right? ^^

3.) Old men hitting on young girls- I truly truly cant stand seeing old men hitting on young girls. Like I said before, I work in a restaurant, and from time to time, I would get a wink wink, a stare, or a flirty smile from old men. Let me tell you how disgusting it is. Seriously, it's disturbing. I also find guys that already has girlfriends flirting and just staring at other girls very disturbing. It grosses and freaks me out. They should be ashamed of themselves. If you're not satisfied with one girl, then you shouldnt even be in a relationship. I get these alot as well, it just bothers me, because if my boyfriend did that, I'll probably flush him down the drain. Oh yes, I have good eyes. :)

4.) Baggy Pants-Guys with saggy baggy pants to the point that shows their boxers grosses me out. If you wanna show your boxers then you might as well not wear any pants at all? I dont if it's just me, but I dont it attractive at all. It's actually a turn off. Oh, and you know what's funny? Their walk. You know when your pants are saggy, you're not able to walk properly right? Well, their walk is pretty annoying. I guess they find it attractive, I dont know. I just dont see it.

5.) Smokers/druggies- I dont want to offend anyone, but I find people who smokes really grosses me out. I cant stand the smell, I just cant stand being anywhere around smokers. I just find it pointless to buy cigarettes, its expensive and its bad for you. umm, doesnt that ring a bell? Anyway, enough of this talk. Dont want to offend anyone now. As for druggies, I'm not usually around druggies, cause I dont have friends who doesnt them, but people who does drugs does gross me out. Their smell, their actions, everything.

Summer time...

It's my first week of summer and I'm already loving it. :) Actually, in some ways I'm enjoying it and in another way I'm not. I love being able to wake up late and not worry about rushing to class, but one thing I dislike about summer is not having anything productive to do. On Monday for instance, I stayed in the whole day doing pointless things such as browsing in the net, laying in bed, and watching tv! You see!? I remembered being in front of my tv for almost 7 hours straight. It's unbelievable. I could have went out, but my friends had work, some in Indo already, and its freezing out....so I guess I should`nt complain right? ^^

I'm still deciding what to do for summer. I'm waiting for Jastien to finish so we can finally decide what to do. So I made a list of what may come this summer :)

1.) Camping in Angel Island (camped here once, its beautiful...)
2.) San Diego (I've been wanting to go SD since December, but never had the chance to!!!!)
3.) L.A again? (never seem to get enough of this city!)
4.) Disney World I (Would be my dream come true to come here again. I've always wanted to go here. Been here once when I was very little but forgot everything.)
5.) Indo` (This was my actual plan to go back, but I'm still deciding whether or not I should go this summer or december. It's pretty late to buy the ticket now since it will get even more expensive especially now that it's summer, but well see.)

So there's my list...I dont think I would be able to go to all 5 places, but I do hope I can go to at least 2/5 places I listed up there. hahaha...For some reason, my plans never work out. Dont know why....You know what's odd? Whenever I plan something, either it doesnt turn out the way I expected it to be, or it just never happens. But when I dont plan, most likely that event will happen. Wierd, huh? Thought so. :/

I'm amazed that it's been weeks since I thought of what I thought was going to be hard to forget. There were many times I wondered why I kept thinking about it all those days, but these few days I've thought of all the possibilities that I should forget it completely, and to my surprise, there is so many things I found that makes me want to let go. Honestly, it was'nt worth it. I think the only reason why I kept holding on was because I liked the feeling. I enjoyed remembering every single thing, because for me, it was precious. But if I remember the opposite of the enjoyment, there was probably more that I can list than the enjoyment feeling.

I'm truly happy and glad to be in the place in here right now. Sometimes I tend to forget and take things for granted, like what I have isnt enough and felt like what I needed was more, but I had the wrong mindset. I'm truly happy that things ended up the way it did, and honestly, thank God I was not stuck there because I would not be able to be loved the way I am loved right now.
I think everyone has their moments. Sometimes it takes time to realize the truth, and right now, I've realized the truth. This time, I'm 100% over with u for sure. Thanks God!

Accepting yourself.

Accepting who you are as a person can be tough at times. I'm not perfect, in fact, nobody is. Sometimes I wish I was taller, have a better body, and the list goes on and on, but all these things that we want and hope for is all imaginary. There are times where I feel like I'm not good enough, not just physically but emotionally. Sometimes I feel like I could have done better, or I maybe feel like I wish I was this or that. BUT, these things doesnt change you as a person. You keep complaining, but the truth is no body is perfect. Everyone has their flaws, and everyone would want to change something about themselves. Let me make this clear. Everyone has something in them that they lack, something that they want to have. Isn't that true? Humans are never and will never be satisfied. We will always want more and more. If I can say that humans are greedy and selfish, I can assure you that humans are 100% greedy and selfish. Well, technically we are.

I've been learning to accept myself as an individual. You know that saying, "you have to love yourself first before you love anyone else"? Well, that saying is true. I love myself, I care about my own being (dont take that in a wrong way), but there are things about me that I wish I can change. Traits, personality, and physically...I just wish I can get what I want. If there is one thing I'm good at, that is complaining. Sometimes it's hard to accept who I am, but I realize that I must accept myself for who I am. God created me in my own special way, and complaining is the same thing as saying God's creation is horrible. I realized that by complaining, I'm hurting God. I'm learning to accept myself as an individual, and to love myself the way I am. I'm beautiful in my own way and I know for one that my inner beauty is indeed more beautiful and important than the exterior. Thanks God for opening my eyes. But above all, thank you for allowing me to be a strong individual.

I`m so mad that my webcam isn`nt working properly! I thought that now my computer is working fine and now that it's fast, it'll let me make videos, but turns out its still nagging on me!!! aaaaaaaaaaa, im so mad! I tried making one earlier this morning, and when I played the video it was slow. When I talk its not following my lips. It's just nagging, its so slow I cant stand it!!!

2 more days until summer and I'm somewhat excited. I just want to get over with finals. Well, then after that, its the waiting game: the grade.

time for dancing with the stars, and bachelorette!! ahh so excited!

til then,
jes

break time...

I've been sitting in front of the computer screen for the past 4 hours listening to my marketing lecture and trying to get a perfect score on these quizzes. I have finals this week and next week. I hate finals week. Who enjoys it anyway? I'm trying to keep a smile on my face, and pretend to enjoy it because I dont wanna have a negative view! This is the time where I need some positivity and encouragment because right now, my grades are on stake. Did i say that right? heheh ^^ I think I'm doing pretty well in my classes so far, but finance is really killing me, I just wish I was good at math. Let me take that back. I dont mind the math. As long as there is a formula and a way to solve it, I'm fine. But, its the concept that is so difficult and hard to grasp (at least for me). I thought I was really good with concepts, but turns out that I'm not with finance. But to be honest, this semester was by far the best semester I've experienced in my University so far. Maybe it's because I had the focus, or maybe it's because I'm doing pretty well. hehe...Anyways, tomorrow is gonna be long day. I'm working on a finance stock valuation project with my classmate. Were doing it on AIG. I dont understand stock at all, or how it works and what not, but after doing some reasearch, its pretty interesting and quite entertaining. I dont think I'll get myself into buying stocks though. Ok, enough of education.

alrightt, im gonna go back studyingg... :/