For a long time now, I've been stuck with a decision that I have to make. I never would have thought it would be this hard. I never even thought I would end up in this road. Sometimes life throws us surprises. And sometimes those surprises leads us to make a decision between two choices. See, I'm not good with choices! I am so undecisive when it comes to anything. Dont get me wrong. I know what I want, but I feel like I care so much about what others may think if I make a certain choice. I know that my decision should merely come from myself, but I feel like this choice that I have to make will effect everyone around me--my family to be exact. I dont know what to do. I never thought I would be back in this pedestal after a year, and here I am, back in this puddle. I feel like for once, I need to do something good for myself. I need to think about what makes me happy and what satisfies me. I know that sounds very selfish and greedy of me, but sometimes you just gotta be selfish to be happy or else whats the point of living, right? This really sucks :( I feel like I've been in this road for the longest time, and I want to do something about it, but honestly it's not easy at all for me. I feel like I'm letting time take a hold of my situation. this sucks.

the one?

When I thought of the term "the one", I've always considered it to
someone who will eventually be my husband or someone who I will marry
in the future. Lately, I've been thinking about it, and I'm beginning
to think that the word itself is just over rated. How do you really
know that the person you're with or you love is the one for you? How
do you justify that? I honestly dont think feelings and quality is
enough to justify it. I've heard many people say 'his the one for me.
I just don't know it.' "I just know it"...really? How do you exactly
know? For some people, "the one" really do exists, and sometimes you
don't need to give a great explanation as to why you think they're the
one. Some people just know it. I'm guessing through their instinct?
Yeah, probably. When you first meet a guy, you probably have that
instinct that his the one. You've dated eachother for a long time, and
you guys have the qualities that you look for in eachother. Sure, you
have a great feeling his the one. Most people end up marrying that
person, but I do think that there is a point in a relationship when
you ask yourself, is he really the one for me? Yea, you may say it
before and mean it, but now you just have second thoughts. I used to
think that time really matters. The longer you are with that person,
the more sure and confident you are that the person you're with will
be the one you're gonna end up. Reality check. Not true. The more you
spend your time with that person, the more you see the personality
that person really is. Then you start questioning yourself. Do I
really want to live with this for the rest of my life? Yea, that sound
awful and a bit selfish, but I guess once years have gone by,
sometimes the spark or excitement tends to die. I'm not saying that
it's time to break up when it does happen. I'm just saying that maybe
it's time for a change to make it work.

So what point am i trying to make? The point I'm trying to make is that time does not justify anything. Being with someone for a long time, you notice all the tiny bit of personality and characters that you might dislike. And sometimes things change. You cant control your feelings or emotion. So how do you know exactly if their the one? leave me a comment!!!