Monday, August 30, 2010

Listening to Thinking of you by Katy Perry really brings back memories. I can almost remember everything that happened last year..and it's even more amazing that those feelings and emotions are being replaced with something even better. I feel content with everything. I'm trying to see things in a better view. Sometimes taking things slow can be good. I definitely think that things are improving and getting better. I think only time will tell. I'm satisfied :)

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Thursday, August 26, 2010

Have you guys ever wondered what you really want to do with your life? Maybe some of you who already have careers and can't relate to this. Maybe, yes? But these past few days, I've been challenged by my English teacher (my last english class...thank God!) During the beginning of the class, my Professor talked about his life and where he came from etc...He then talked about his goals and his dream. He was in school for 6 years because he didnt like what he did so he changed his major several times. He was first a Music major, then he decided he wasn't any good, so he switched over to an English major. After couple of years doing that, he had to write a thesis or some sort of long essay talking about his goals and what he wanted to do in life, and he told us that he wasn't able to write that essay. He spend 3 months working on it, but nothing good came out of it. He said that writing was not a problem, but writing something from the heart that can really grab the audience was really hard. He then decided to stop doing that and went back home and ended up working at a record store. (I promise this story will lead to somewhere) While he was working at the record store, he also taught Latin to college students, and finally realized that teaching was something he truly loved. Not only teaching Latin, but teaching to a group of college students was his passion. He then took his Master's degree for English, and since then, his been teaching English to college students. I felt like his story was so touching and inspiring. I mean, can you believe that it actually took him 6 years to figure what he really wanted to do with his life? He loved doing music, but teaching to college students was something he loved to do but also in the same time, he was passionate about it.

It really got me thinking about my education, and what I really want to do with my life after I graduate. It really raised these questions, "Why am I majoring in Marketing?" and "What really is my passion?" I know a lot of people who graduated with their majors, but not neccesarily work in that same field. To be honest, there are a lot of things I want to do with my life. I can name a lot. I want to be a wedding planner, a fashion merchandiser/buyer, a baker or a business women. But really, what am I passionate about? I know a lot of people who already have jobs/careers, but they are not satisfied. They complain everyday that they wished they could've taken a different road. See, I dont want that. I want to be able to go to work happy and enjoy what I do. I want to be passionate about my career. I never really realized how important this issue was until couple days ago when my English teacher challenged us. I then ask myself, why am I in marketing? Is this something I really want to do? If so, in what direction? PR...advertising...branding...I mean I realized there is a lot I can do with marketing, but I begin to ask myself if this is something I really want to do with my life. I wish I could have ask myself this question years ago before I started college. But to think of it again, you never really know what you want to do with your life until you actually hit that tipping point or that "realization" state of mind. If that even makes any sense. I have a lot of goals and dreams. I think my motivation is strong enough to lead me to that road of success. But in all honesty, as of right now, I can say that I don't know what I want to do with my life. That sounds really scary, but I thought about it again, and I feel that it is ok to feel that way. I have dreams and goals in life, and I feel like that it is a starting point to something good. Dont get me wrong, I have an idea of what I want to do, but I feel like I just need to work on it, and decide what is it that I'm really passionate about. I dont want to make a mistake and later realize that it is something I dont want to do. Then it'll just be too late to change. Sometimes it's hard for me to differentiate the word 'passionate' and 'career.' Have you ever thought of that? Is it really possible for someone to have such a great career that they're passionate about? I mean yes maybe...but if so, what are the percentage of people who actually feels that way? I would really like to know.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that not knowing what you really want to do with your life is ok. It's ok to be frustrated and confused. It's ok to take things slow. Slow can be good, just like stress can be constructive. I think there will definitely be a time in someone's life that finally hits them as to what they want to do with their life and what they're really passionate about. I think I've figured mines out, but I definitely need to research more on it. I'm open to anything, but I know if it is something I'm not passionate about, I wont take it...even if they pay me a lot. OK, that sounded really stupid of me, but honestly, I dont want to have a job that I know I'm not passionate about. In the end, it's not about how much you make, its about happiness. Sounds corny, but true.

Hope someone out there can relate to this :)

Sunday, August 22, 2010

I miss him so much.

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Thursday, August 12, 2010

Wedding at napa

I can't sleep so I thought of blogging some more. These are some pics of a wedding I went to two weeks ago at napa. Couldn't captures great view of the reception since i was using my iPhone, but thought I'd share some with you guys :)















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I've been sick this past week. Today is actually the first day that I feel better. Not 100% better, but getting there. When I get sick, I usually heal pretty fast, but this is the first time in a very long time that takes a while for me to heal. I don't mind having the flu, but when it affects my whole body to the point where I can't work or do anything physically, that's when it really sucks. I didn't go to work last night when I was actually scheduled to. I felt bad for having someone to cover for me, especially when I had to ask last minute. My body really couldnt take it :(

Fall semester is just right around the corner. I'm excited in some ways, but also nervous!

It's 1.30am right now and I should sleep. I have work early tomorrow. :(

Sweet dream all.

Love,
Jessica

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Tuesday, August 03, 2010

I've been feeling a bit stressed lately. There are some problems I'm facing right now with school, and what really sucks most is the thought that I won't be able to graduate by next May. My life is literally on the borderline and I'm scared to death. I've always been a positive person, but this..I just feel like it's really eating me up, and I'm having constant doubts everyday. I thought I had it all down, ready to go..but unfortunately I was wrong :(

Sometimes I feel as if I'm overdoing things a little too much. I also feel like sometimes I give myself too much and put myself out there that people take advantage of me. I'm the type of person who doesn't like to deal with problems (I know, who does?). I'm not talking just about relationships..I'm talking about life in general. School..work..etc. Sometimes I feel like I do things too much for people, and I don't see it, but I get taken advantage of. I can't help myself. I like to get things done without being said or mentioned. It's not a good thing. The sucky part is I don't mind doing it. I don't want to be taken advantage of, but in the same time, I like to be busy and do things and get them done. I guess what I'm trying to say is I rather do it myself than having to wait for someone else to do it whether or not it's my job. I'm a responsible person when it comes to work or school, but I have to admit that sometimes I don't know the limit between my own responsibility versus doing too much. I like to work. I like being busy and being productive. It's sounds ridiculous, but I enjoy doing the things I do. Yes, I complain and procrastinate once in a while, but I really enjoy doing it..and this, causes me to overdo things :-/ I think the problem is that I get taken advantage of a lot, and I don't see it. I'll see it after couples of days has gone by, but when I'm actually doing it..I don't see it. Doesn't make sense, does it?

I wonder if there's anybody in this world that feels the same way as I do.


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