Hi everybody,
I'm back to another week of school. I'm actually starting to love this semester more than I thought I would, despite of the hectic and crazy schedule. I think this semester will be by far my best semester. I have a feeling :) My goal for this semester is to aim for A's. It seem so impossible just 'cause I'm taking 6 hard core classes, and considering that I have a not so good time management, but I'm working my butt off just to raise my GPA. Yeah, my GPA isn't looking so good right now, and I have to raise it for internships. AHHH, stressing me out! This is seriously making me go crazy. Sometimes I feel like I dont know how to do everything all at once, and I dont even know if I can aim for 6 A'S, but I really need to raise my GPA. That's probably my biggest concern and goal. PLEASE HELP ME GOD!!! you can do it jess you can do itt...!
I dont have class until 7pm tonight. Sucks, but I dont really mind cause I can actually catch up on my readings the whole day. I really hate night classes, but I rather by night classes rather than morning classes. I just hope this class will be entertaining. On the bright side, I dont have classes on fridays, which means I have a 3 day weekend this semester :) This week, I have a 4 day weekend! Yay to labor day!
Ollright guys, dont even know why I am blogging when I should be reading. Cheers to everyone! :)
blessed day,
Jess
Monday, August 31, 2009
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Time heals everything...
Isn't funny how time can heal just about anything? I was reading through my previous blogs like I always do, and it's been a while since I've mention about it. Time does heal everything. In my case, unfortunately, it took me couple of years to realize and wake up to the truth. I felt so stupid. Sometimes when I think about it, I just laugh it out. I mean, everyone isnt perfect right. I felt so guilty having that emotions and feelings that I know I should'nt be having. But what was I supposed to do? I cant help myself. I feel things for a reason. I think of things for a reason. I dont even know what is the reason, but anyway, time heals everything. I'm happy now, even though it took this longggg to get over it, I think this time I'm starting to realize the truth. I dont feel like a fool. I feel stupid at times for thinking about it, but I dont feel like a fool. I think its normal for humans to think of certain things especially their past and just cant get over it. OH well right? Life is life. Sometimes though, I wish that things couldve been different. I wish that we could still be friends, but I guess some things are just not meant to be permanent in your lives. Some things stays, some things are meant to go. <3
Anyway, fall semester started this week. I am already feeling the pressure. I dont even know what to study for first. It is really frustrating, but I'm trying to be positive about it and go day by day. ahhh. God please give me the strength!!!!
Anyway, fall semester started this week. I am already feeling the pressure. I dont even know what to study for first. It is really frustrating, but I'm trying to be positive about it and go day by day. ahhh. God please give me the strength!!!!
Monday, August 24, 2009
Hey guys,
It's been a while since I blogged. I got back from San Diego last week. That was my last big vacation before fall semester starts. I start class again tomorrow. I'm somewhat excited, somewhat not. I hate having to purchase bundles of textbooks that costs so much. And in the end, I cant sell them because they usually come up with new editions for the next semester. Well, that's the way they make money right? This semester is going to be a tough one. It's been a while since I took 6 classes. All my friends think I'm crazy for taking so much classes, considering that they are pretty hard core, but I believe I can do it. I mean, I took 7 classes before! I know quality is better than quantity, but I know with God, all things are possible.
I am excited that summer is coming to an end, and winter is coming! Bring on the boots and scarfs! :) Lately, I've been playing the piano again. Well, I've been trying to get back to playing the piano. It's been a while since I play the piano or even touch it. I used to take piano lessons back then, but its just been so long since I played the piano. I'm still working on it, and brushing my skills. So, maybe I'll play a song for you guys :)
Alright, well I dont know what else to say. I'll try to blog more often, but since fall semester is starting, I cant promise anything. But whoever reads my blog should know me. I either blog my feelings out or blog randomly. :)
Have a blessed day everyone! Jesus Bless you!
Jess <3
It's been a while since I blogged. I got back from San Diego last week. That was my last big vacation before fall semester starts. I start class again tomorrow. I'm somewhat excited, somewhat not. I hate having to purchase bundles of textbooks that costs so much. And in the end, I cant sell them because they usually come up with new editions for the next semester. Well, that's the way they make money right? This semester is going to be a tough one. It's been a while since I took 6 classes. All my friends think I'm crazy for taking so much classes, considering that they are pretty hard core, but I believe I can do it. I mean, I took 7 classes before! I know quality is better than quantity, but I know with God, all things are possible.
I am excited that summer is coming to an end, and winter is coming! Bring on the boots and scarfs! :) Lately, I've been playing the piano again. Well, I've been trying to get back to playing the piano. It's been a while since I play the piano or even touch it. I used to take piano lessons back then, but its just been so long since I played the piano. I'm still working on it, and brushing my skills. So, maybe I'll play a song for you guys :)
Alright, well I dont know what else to say. I'll try to blog more often, but since fall semester is starting, I cant promise anything. But whoever reads my blog should know me. I either blog my feelings out or blog randomly. :)
Have a blessed day everyone! Jesus Bless you!
Jess <3
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Hey guys,
I can`t believe summer is coming to an end. I'm actually not sad that summer is ending. This summer went by so slow, and to be honest, I'm excited for school to start. I need something to look forward to. I need to be productive! I miss procrastinating, and staying up late doing papers or studying for exams. I know, believe it or not I am. But I know for sure after a couple weeks of school, I'll be wishing it's the holiday already. :)
These couple of weeks, I feel like I've been dreaming. I feel like I've been living in my own little world. I don't know how to explain it. I miss the feeling. I miss that excitement. I don't know for some reason, I've been so happy lately. I've been waking up in the morning with the biggest smile on my face for no reason at all. I don't know, I feel like words cant even describe how cheerful and joyful I am. There would be times where I just smile and the feeling of happiness is just so powerful that I smile for no reason. haha. I dont know if that made any sense or not. I feel like I'm repeating myself, but you know sometimes happiness can not be bought with money or material. Finding true happiness is surely from within. That sounds really vague, but its so true. As of right now, I feel like my life is so complicated. I dont think anyone will ever understand how complicated it is. Reading my blogs doesnt get you to understand how complicated it is. Sometimes I am that type of person that doesnt like to tell anyone how I feel. I keep it in my heart and in my mind. I learned that its not a good thing to hide things. I shared to a couple of my friends, and honestly, I am so happy to have friends who are willing to listen and willing to help me, even if it is just giving me a simple advice. I know have such great friends, and I am so grateful for it.
I havent decide anything yet. I havent break the egg shell. I dont know if I ever will. I just feel so unright doing it. I guess I just have to hinder myself away from it? I dont know. I really dont know what to do. If you guys are reading this, you might not understand or get anything I'm writing, and thats okay. You can stop reading, cause I'll be talking nonsense from now. ^^ It just feels so right, but in the same time its wrong. I'm really confused and frustrated. I dont know what is the right thing to do, I really dont. Only if life is simple as 1 2 3 right? I think one day, I will break that shell, but for now, I have to keep it to myself. :(
I can`t believe summer is coming to an end. I'm actually not sad that summer is ending. This summer went by so slow, and to be honest, I'm excited for school to start. I need something to look forward to. I need to be productive! I miss procrastinating, and staying up late doing papers or studying for exams. I know, believe it or not I am. But I know for sure after a couple weeks of school, I'll be wishing it's the holiday already. :)
These couple of weeks, I feel like I've been dreaming. I feel like I've been living in my own little world. I don't know how to explain it. I miss the feeling. I miss that excitement. I don't know for some reason, I've been so happy lately. I've been waking up in the morning with the biggest smile on my face for no reason at all. I don't know, I feel like words cant even describe how cheerful and joyful I am. There would be times where I just smile and the feeling of happiness is just so powerful that I smile for no reason. haha. I dont know if that made any sense or not. I feel like I'm repeating myself, but you know sometimes happiness can not be bought with money or material. Finding true happiness is surely from within. That sounds really vague, but its so true. As of right now, I feel like my life is so complicated. I dont think anyone will ever understand how complicated it is. Reading my blogs doesnt get you to understand how complicated it is. Sometimes I am that type of person that doesnt like to tell anyone how I feel. I keep it in my heart and in my mind. I learned that its not a good thing to hide things. I shared to a couple of my friends, and honestly, I am so happy to have friends who are willing to listen and willing to help me, even if it is just giving me a simple advice. I know have such great friends, and I am so grateful for it.
I havent decide anything yet. I havent break the egg shell. I dont know if I ever will. I just feel so unright doing it. I guess I just have to hinder myself away from it? I dont know. I really dont know what to do. If you guys are reading this, you might not understand or get anything I'm writing, and thats okay. You can stop reading, cause I'll be talking nonsense from now. ^^ It just feels so right, but in the same time its wrong. I'm really confused and frustrated. I dont know what is the right thing to do, I really dont. Only if life is simple as 1 2 3 right? I think one day, I will break that shell, but for now, I have to keep it to myself. :(
Friday, August 07, 2009
Life.
Life seems so great right now...at least for me. I don't know how long this feeling would last, but I lately, I've been feeling so happy. I wake up in the morning with the best mood ever with no reason. :) I'm not sure of what I did was wrong, but my intentions are nothing more. In a way, I should have left it the way it was, because deep down I know it is not right. But on the other hand, I knew if I did not take the chance, I would wonder and regret it in the end. Right now, I just don't know what is right and what is wrong. If anything, I'm just so happy.
In life, there is a time for everything, right? A time to slack off, a time when you just don't care about your education or work, a time where everything just seems to go downhill, a time to cry and a time to mend. But there comes a time in life in everyone where a light bulb just suddenly pops into your brain, and you suddenly realize that life is not worth living unless you do something great with it. Guess what? That shiny light bulb that's been lost for years has finally struck my brain like a lightening bolt. These couple years I've been in University has been great, but there was nothing in particular that excites me or motivates me. Sometimes, I try to motivate myself and find my own excitement in life, but just hearing the downfall of the economy, unemployment rates, and how hard it is to find jobs truly brought my excitement to the lowest level of levels. I've always had a dream of making it big one day, and working for some big company in the future, but that feeling just suddenly disappeared a couple years back. It's like I finally saw a light, and I'm trying to aim and reach for that light, but somewhere along the line, I felt like it is just too impossible to reach to that light, because there were many things in my way. I'm not blaming anybody...if anything, I blame myself. All these years, I have done what pleases other people. Everything I do is to please my parents. I was so scared to walk out of my comfort zone, and stand up for myself. I did what they wanted me to do, because deep down I felt like that was the right thing. Even though I had these many goals and visions I want to pursue and see myself becoming in the future, I felt like everything leads to a dead end. The idea of having to make two choices later in the future frightens me. Honestly, all my goals that I want to achieve, I was not excited about it. I did not work hard for it. I just didn't care. I just wanted to go with the flow and see where I will end up after I graduate. But, after that light bulb strike in my head, I've realized that life is truly worth nothing unless you do something that makes you happy. What I mean by 'what makes you happy' is not just from your surroundings, but what you're passionate about; making your dreams become into reality.
It was hard on me for a while, because I was confused and frustrated. I'm like a little child squeezed in the middle of a crowd clueless. I felt like the right thing to do is follow him wherever he will go in the end, but where does that leave me? In one point of my life, I felt like it was just so useless to follow my dream and pursue what I want to do, because whatever I do, I will end up in one place: Indonesia. Working my ass off is not going to be worth it. I cant live my dreams there, that's not where my heart is. I felt like I've been such a child. I've been the follower, when I'm supposed to be the leader and the decision maker for myself. Deep down, I think its a nice gesture of me. I do it because I cared about him and I wanted us to work out in the long run, but is this what really makes me happy? What if someday things went south, what am I left with? Nothing.
This week, I've awaken and realized the importance of life. I learned that you need to make your own decisions in life, and stand up for what you believe in. I felt like all these years I've been dragged around. I felt scared to open up and say what I want to do with my life, because my parents might not approve. I chose accounting for goodness sake because my parents wanted me to take it. I tried to love it, but that was just not me. You have to be passionate about something. Set a goal, and achieve it. And you know what? I've finally found mines. I'm not gonna think about all these negativities, and how competitive my field might be, because I really don't care. Everywhere you go is competitive if you really think about. If I love it that much, I will work my butt off like crazy until I get what I want. I am so passionate about this, and I really want to make my dreams come true. I sound like a little girl right now, I know, but hey! You need to be excited in life. You need that drive and motivation that gets you moving, or else you're nothing. You gotta stand out as an individual :) As of right now, I really am not worrying about my future. I'm not worrying about going back to Indonesia or weather to follow him or not, because for once, I want to do something for myself. I want to see myself succeed. :)
No more looking back. No more negativities. Doing what you are passionate about really feels great, especially after you get your result. That feels even better :) Dont ever give up. Strive for the best. Life is too precious. :)
In life, there is a time for everything, right? A time to slack off, a time when you just don't care about your education or work, a time where everything just seems to go downhill, a time to cry and a time to mend. But there comes a time in life in everyone where a light bulb just suddenly pops into your brain, and you suddenly realize that life is not worth living unless you do something great with it. Guess what? That shiny light bulb that's been lost for years has finally struck my brain like a lightening bolt. These couple years I've been in University has been great, but there was nothing in particular that excites me or motivates me. Sometimes, I try to motivate myself and find my own excitement in life, but just hearing the downfall of the economy, unemployment rates, and how hard it is to find jobs truly brought my excitement to the lowest level of levels. I've always had a dream of making it big one day, and working for some big company in the future, but that feeling just suddenly disappeared a couple years back. It's like I finally saw a light, and I'm trying to aim and reach for that light, but somewhere along the line, I felt like it is just too impossible to reach to that light, because there were many things in my way. I'm not blaming anybody...if anything, I blame myself. All these years, I have done what pleases other people. Everything I do is to please my parents. I was so scared to walk out of my comfort zone, and stand up for myself. I did what they wanted me to do, because deep down I felt like that was the right thing. Even though I had these many goals and visions I want to pursue and see myself becoming in the future, I felt like everything leads to a dead end. The idea of having to make two choices later in the future frightens me. Honestly, all my goals that I want to achieve, I was not excited about it. I did not work hard for it. I just didn't care. I just wanted to go with the flow and see where I will end up after I graduate. But, after that light bulb strike in my head, I've realized that life is truly worth nothing unless you do something that makes you happy. What I mean by 'what makes you happy' is not just from your surroundings, but what you're passionate about; making your dreams become into reality.
It was hard on me for a while, because I was confused and frustrated. I'm like a little child squeezed in the middle of a crowd clueless. I felt like the right thing to do is follow him wherever he will go in the end, but where does that leave me? In one point of my life, I felt like it was just so useless to follow my dream and pursue what I want to do, because whatever I do, I will end up in one place: Indonesia. Working my ass off is not going to be worth it. I cant live my dreams there, that's not where my heart is. I felt like I've been such a child. I've been the follower, when I'm supposed to be the leader and the decision maker for myself. Deep down, I think its a nice gesture of me. I do it because I cared about him and I wanted us to work out in the long run, but is this what really makes me happy? What if someday things went south, what am I left with? Nothing.
This week, I've awaken and realized the importance of life. I learned that you need to make your own decisions in life, and stand up for what you believe in. I felt like all these years I've been dragged around. I felt scared to open up and say what I want to do with my life, because my parents might not approve. I chose accounting for goodness sake because my parents wanted me to take it. I tried to love it, but that was just not me. You have to be passionate about something. Set a goal, and achieve it. And you know what? I've finally found mines. I'm not gonna think about all these negativities, and how competitive my field might be, because I really don't care. Everywhere you go is competitive if you really think about. If I love it that much, I will work my butt off like crazy until I get what I want. I am so passionate about this, and I really want to make my dreams come true. I sound like a little girl right now, I know, but hey! You need to be excited in life. You need that drive and motivation that gets you moving, or else you're nothing. You gotta stand out as an individual :) As of right now, I really am not worrying about my future. I'm not worrying about going back to Indonesia or weather to follow him or not, because for once, I want to do something for myself. I want to see myself succeed. :)
No more looking back. No more negativities. Doing what you are passionate about really feels great, especially after you get your result. That feels even better :) Dont ever give up. Strive for the best. Life is too precious. :)
Sunday, August 02, 2009
Sunday
Happy Sunday!
Today was such a different sunday than any other sundays. We officially moved to our new building today, so the service time changed to 9am and 11 am. I minister, so that means I have to attend 2 services. Ahh, what a big transition. I really do hate waking up early in the morning, but I shouldnt complain, cause our God is a great God, right? Our soft opening today was amazing and powerful. I'm so amazed how many great things that God has done; not just in my life or my family, but for the church as well. I think He has something great in store for us in the near future. I'm excited.
Anyway, to sum up my day, I had the worse cramp at church. I was standing in the stage and I couldnt help. I have a heartburn, and I guess thats what I get for not eating a little before I sing in front. After church, I had lunch with some friends and now I'm just home. I'M SO DRAINED! ^^ These couple of days, I've been waking up super super early. You can tell that my eyes right now looks so tired and red. :( I should nap, but I'm afraid I wont be able to sleep tonight.
Alrighty, well I have nothing else to say so I'll be back :) (I think im gonna sleep...i cant take it anymore! )
Today was such a different sunday than any other sundays. We officially moved to our new building today, so the service time changed to 9am and 11 am. I minister, so that means I have to attend 2 services. Ahh, what a big transition. I really do hate waking up early in the morning, but I shouldnt complain, cause our God is a great God, right? Our soft opening today was amazing and powerful. I'm so amazed how many great things that God has done; not just in my life or my family, but for the church as well. I think He has something great in store for us in the near future. I'm excited.
Anyway, to sum up my day, I had the worse cramp at church. I was standing in the stage and I couldnt help. I have a heartburn, and I guess thats what I get for not eating a little before I sing in front. After church, I had lunch with some friends and now I'm just home. I'M SO DRAINED! ^^ These couple of days, I've been waking up super super early. You can tell that my eyes right now looks so tired and red. :( I should nap, but I'm afraid I wont be able to sleep tonight.
Alrighty, well I have nothing else to say so I'll be back :) (I think im gonna sleep...i cant take it anymore! )
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)