A Depression in my University

I've never experience anything in my life more brutal then trying to add a class in state. I'm telling you, I've never ever seen anyone desperately wanting to go to class. I started my spring semester just a few days ago and it feels like WAR and competition all over. I've been trying to add as many classes possible in the business department, but everything, and i mean EVERYTHING is full. My state alone is experiencing a crazy budget cuts meaning they laid off so many professors and cut down 300+ courses, leaving us students with NOTHING! This budget cut is killing me. I'm actually thankful that I'm registered for 4 classes, but honestly the classes that I have wasnt the ones that I need the most...ughhh beteeee! I'm so desperate to find a class! I even stayed for the whole entire class, begged, and when the teacher said no, I even emailed them. but guess what? THEY WONT LET ME IN...duhhh, annoying bgttttt.

And you know what's more irritating? Usually, every year, we can sell our books back, or maybe people like me, I sell my books in craiglist or what not, but this year...they made a new rule. They wont let us sell old textbooks. So every semester/year, they bring out new editions of textbooks so we wont be able to sell our books. This is why publishers get so much money. I actually sold a textbook to someone from craiglist, and she called me a week later saying that she isnt able to use the book because they came in with a new edition. how whack is that? Me being the kind hearted gal, I gave her money back. I dont blame her lah... US is going through a major economic crisis...soon to be like the Depression. (i hope not) hehe...

ollrighttt, gotta head to work now. thanks to those who read my blog full of rantingsss (is that even a word?) haha.... :)

blessed day

Jess

I was talking to one of my best friends just a while ago, and he told me about his past back at home and how he never really revealed it and shared it with anyone and now, its all coming back to him and wishing he had some more time to spend with her. Now, their both in a very different world, and how their worlds are too far apart, and how time has been wide deep.

This reminded me of all the friendships and relationships that ive encountered in the past. I`ve never regret any friendships or relationships that I encountered, because i do believe that all those things that I've encountered means a great deal to me and is still a part of my life. I'm so grateful n` thankful for all my friends that I have now, their more precious than anything. Friends are your companions, we need friends. I truly believe in that. As for friends and people that i've lost contact with, they are still apart of me and they will always be.

I dont know, maybe as a "women", i overanalyze alot. I overanalyze just about anything, everything. I analyze from the smallest to the biggest things, you can call me crazy! Honestly, there are times when i think about the past and how my life would actually be if it would still be apart of me, but at the end of the day, I think to myself. ahhh, I'm so stupid for thinking about it! the past was the past. But i cant help myself. I still think about it, and even though we live seperate lives, and heck im crazy to even be talking about this, i reallly dont mind. Our seperation was so awkward for me because for a second, i thought things would work out, but it didnt. We lived a whole seperate and different lives, different level and i wasnt ready for that and neither was it. There are times where i wonder how it is doing and how things are going with it, BUT i feel dumb to even care because caring for someone that doesnt even care about you is pointless. this is getting too long.

goodbye by miley c.

I can honestly say
You've been on my mind
Since I woke up today, up today
I look at your photograph all the time
These memories come back to life
And I don't mind

I remember when we kissed
I still feel it on my lips
The time that you danced with me
With no music playing
I remember those simple things
I remember 'till I cry
But the one thing I wish I'd forget
The memory I want to forget
Is goodbye

I woke up this morning
And played our song
And through my tears I sang along
I picked up the phone and then
Put it down
Cause I know I'm wasting my time
And I don't mind

S u r v e y

I stole this survey from my best friend Kristyne n` thought it would be fun to do it too!

Basics:

Name: Jessica
Date of Birth: Dec 3rd 1987
Birthplace: Jakarta, Indo baby!
Current Location: I should keep this private
Eye Color: brown/black
Hair Color: dark golden brown/black
Height: 5'3 ???
Heritage: Indonesian/Chinese
Piercings: my ears
Tattoos: i hate tattooss! my body is too precious

Favorites:

Band/Singer: Britney Spears will always be my fav singer!
Song: too much to mention, really...
Movie: too much to mention...i love Cameron Diaz though
Disney Movie: Cinderella
TV show: the hills & Jon and Kate plus 8
Color: pink, purple, white, black. mostly PURPLE!
Food: salad. Seriously, if I got to an American resto, i usually order salad and nothing else but salad.
Pizza topping: mushroom and pepperoni
Ice-Cream Flavor: strawberry
Drink (alcoholic): light fruity ones. no hard drinks please.
Soda: ramune. (japanese drink)
Store: Forever 21 n` Zara
Clothing Brand: i wear everything and anything that looks good on me
Shoe Brand: anything that looks fab on me
Season: i love winter the most
Month: december, not just cos its my bday, but because i love the atmosphere of the dec` weather
Holiday/Festival: Christmas/valentines/my birthday/thanksgiving
Flower: orchids makes me happy. roses makes my heart melt.
Make-Up Item: anything that i wear on my face
Board game: i dont play board games

This or That

Sunny or rainy: Sunny
Chocolate or vanilla: chocolate
Fruit or veggie: fruit
Night or day: night
Sour or sweet: sour
Love or money: love
Phone or in person: in person
Looks or personality: personality
Coffee or tea: tea
Hot or cold: cold

Your:
Goal for this year: to be successful in life
Most missed memory: with my family in jakarta, especially with my grandpa. i miss u n` i love you!
Best physical feature: my whole body! hahha....i dont know. im satisfied with myself.
First thought waking up: "today will be a beautiful day"
Hypothetical personality disorder: i talk to much, i can be annoying, im a pain in the butt sometimes....what else? u tell me.
Preferred type of plastic surgery: LOL. umm...im satisfied with myself i guess.
Sesame street alter ego: cookie monster
Fairytale alter ego: cinderella? i dont know?
Most stupid remark: "are you from Sri Lanka?" DOES IT LOOK LIKE IM FROM SRI LANKA? duhh...
Worst crime: never
Greatest ambition: to work in a fashion industry or a singer, haha yea believe it or not.
Greatest fear: death/coffins (talking about me already makes me shiver)
Darkest secret: im SO sensitive...
Favorite subject: marketing?
Strangest received gift: i've never really recieved a strange gift, i really want to receive one though
Worst habit: alot...the obvious one is sleeping too late!

Do You:

Smoke: no
Drink: occasionally
Curse: nope.
Shower daily: YES
Like thunderstorms: YES. i find them very fascinating.
Dance in the rain: i want to try
Sing: love singing even though my voice isnt perfect
Play an instrument: piano n` keyboard (same thing, yea?)
Get along with your parents: of cozzz
Wish on stars: i love looking at the stars
Believe in fate: very much
Believe in love at first sight: no

Can You:

Drive: yes
Sew: yes
Cook: yes
Speak another language: yes..
Dance: yes
Sing: yes
Touch your nose with your tongue: i just tried..no i cant sorry
Whistle: yes
Curl your tongue: yesss

Have You Ever:

Been Drunk: no
Been Stoned/High: what is this?
Eaten Sushi: lovesssss it!
Been in Love: he was my true first love and still is...
Skipped school: back in highschool n` sometimes in the University, haahaa...we all do...
Made prank calls: when im completely bored out of my mind!
Sent someone a love letter: alwaysss when i feel i should...haha
Stolen something: no
Cried yourself to sleep: i told you im sensitive, YES! I DO. A MILLION TIMES. IM SO EMO!

Other Questions:

What annoys you most in a person? anything that i think is annoying is what i think is annoying in a person.
Are you right or left handed? right handed
What is your bedtime? lately its been 2-3am....im training myself to sleep earlier
Name three things you can’t live without: people i love, my iphone, a picture of my family
What is the color of your room? white and green and a mix of everything
Do you have any siblings? 2 lovely sisters
Do you have any pets? OH YESSS...my cookie monster. (shih zu) love him to deathhh!!!!!
Would you kill someone you hate for a million dollars? ugh no....
What are you nicknames? kaka n princess
Are you for or against gay marriage? i dont support it, but the hell who cares? let them LIVE!
What are your thoughts on abortion? against itttttt!
Do you have a crush on anyone? BRYAN GREENBERG IS SO HOT!
Are you afraid of the dark? sometimes.
How do you want to die? i dont want to think about it. when my time comes, i know ill be in a better place. so yea......
What is the largest amount of popsicles that you have eaten on one day? 2...i think?
Would you take a bullet for the one you love? LOL. yes for my family n hubby
What is the last law you’ve broken? shopping too much?

In a Member of the Opposite Sex:
Hair color: doesnt matter…
Eye color: doesnt matter
Height: doesnt matter
Weight: doesnt matter
Most important physical feature: doesnt matter
Biggest turn-off: GUYS WHO TALKS TOO MUCH. LIAR. CHEATERS. :)

dear diary...

dear diary ku ingin cerita kepadamu
tentang nya yang dulu singgah di hatiku
sejak itu hidupku jadi bahagia
karena dia slalu ada di hidupku oh...

tapi kini dia menghilang
dan tak tau entah (berada) dimana
diaryku ku merindukannya
pujaanku engkau ada dimana

telah habis air matatak sekedar kata2 ku curahkan
harusnya aku berlari sampai ke ujung dunia
untuk mencarinya...

dear diary by ratu

What is l.o.v.e ?

Love, in my definition can be anything you want it to be. Love is like an empty canvas, it can be filled with many colors but it can also be dull, just plain black and white. Love never gives up, never surrenders, but it fights for what it believes in. Love isn't a one sided game, I'm pretty sure everyone knows that. Love requires patience, even though situations might be rough, love withstands any problems. Love isn't "I win or you win." Love is being able to understand one another and being able to compromise. Above all, love is not blind. It is all about understanding and taking chances.

Many say that love is complicated,hard,hurtful and unfair. But that's the way we percieve love maybe because of past experiences. We allow ourselves to have the mindset that love is unfair and all the above. But it is wrong. Love isnt hurtful or complicated, its the most precious gift a human being ought to recieve. This is the reason why I say love can be anything you want it to be, because it is true. Love is like a prized possession. When you really truly love something, you never want to loose it or let it go. You want to keep it forever and not because you love it, but simply because that prized possession means something to you, something greather than just love itself.

Although I say love is not complicated or hurtful, the truth is, it does. But it is not because of love, its is because of us. Some people blame love and how unfair love has treated them or what not, but the truth is its not love that is the problem, it is the people who took the actions of love. I know some people who are brutally hurt and emotionally brokened inside because they were really hurt by someone, but I believe that things do happen for a reason. Sometimes we just dont realize that when one door closes, a new one will open; a better one. I've heard many stories that some who were hurt by love actually commits suicide because they could'nt take the pain any longer, and the only choice they had was suicide. I think that is so ridiculous, but again, I dont blame them. Love does hurt. But it doesnt mean we have to commit those actions, there are better way in solving them. As humans we do not realize these things, we just see what is in the table, but we dont search deeper. This is one thing that I'm still learning.

Love is delicate, its a prized possession, its worth more than anything else you will ever recieve in your life.

updates

update #1:

Im back on twitter!!! I can finally use twitter everywhere and wherever i go. It's kinda neat cause 10 year from now, i can look back, and see what i did in certain hours of the day. havent you thought how neat that would be? or maybe it's just me? hehehe.

I cant believe were olready in the middle of january. Soon, it`ll be the superbowl n next thing you know, febuary is here! crazy. time goes by very fast, doesnt it?

today was such a beautiful day, sunny and warm. SF has not been warm ever since november and amazingly today was hot! I'm still on winter break until the 26th. ahhh seems so longgg. Ive been watching indo dramas and what not on youtube and its so crazy becos im so addicted to it! I slept at 3 am the other day ago, haiizz, so attached to those movies!

Jastien is back from Indo, and thanks to God, everything went smooth in the airport. ahh, I want to go back Indo so bad. shopppinggg eattting....seeing my family...how i wish to do that. :(

time to showerrr :)

2009...

Happy New Years everyone! I know it's kinda late...^^

I spent my New Years with a couple of friends, had dinner and saw the fireworks in SF, and let me tell you, it was beyond crazy! It seems like half of San Franciscans were there watching the fireworks! My New Years was fun overall, though it coudld've been a better night. :)

5 days left until my huni comes home, and i'm so happy to see him, and not to mention my oleh2 (gifts) hehe. I told him to reserve one luggage just for me. i dont know if that's possible though, considering the fact that the space in the 2 luggage will be filled with foods, yumMm.

I didnt get anything for christmas, sad huh? It really sucks to have a birthday in december, especially before christmas. So, I thought of getting myself an iphone for christmas, and fortunately, i was able to upgrade, and i got myself an iphone 3g. So far, i'm loving itttt! I love how its so convenient, i can check my email,check movie times, weather, directions, i simply adore it. I also love the text messaging. iphone txt msging is not your regular SMS. When i text, i feel like i'm conversating with that person because the way its formatted, i guess? The only thing i absolutely dislike is whenever i type in indonesian language, it gives me an english language instead and i have to "x" it for it to disappear. Other than that, i absolutely love it! OH, any another thing i hate is how sometimes when im texting someone, my msg tends to DELAY. A while ago, I was texting jastien to indonesia, and he recieved my msg 3-4 hours later. When i used my old phone, it didnt happen. I dont know, maybe i had no signal? I should'nt complain though, i chose to get an iphone afterall ;)

This holiday vacation seems very long. I still have 3-4 weeks left until my school starts while other schools are starting next week. For some reason, my Uni starts later than everyone, i guess i should be happy about that!

I'm extremly excited for this year 2009. Last year before entering 2008, i didnt feel any excitement at all, but this year, i have 6 goals that i want to achieve. I believe that setting goals in life is very important, and i've learned alot that writing them down and making a check list of all the things you want to improve can really help in the process. Frankly, the ultimate reason why I'm excited for this year to come is becuase I want to challenge myself in the different areas that I personally need to work on. It's not going to be easy, but that doesnt even bother me at all. The whole point about life is to take chances and experience new challenges. I realized that you could do so much in life, you just need motivation and the "wantness" to be able to do it.

So 2009, i'm ready for you.. ^^