Sunday, May 30, 2010

I cant believe I'm back to where I've started again. I just cant believe I'm back in this pit. I feel almost stupid, but the funny thing is that even though I'm being bothered, I dont mind. Yea, you ppl who are reading this might say whattt in the world are you talking about? Fair enough. You dont have to understand what I'm talking about. Warning. Dont continue reading!

Honestly, I figured that maybe if I gave it a chance and took that risk, i can see something good out of it. I had hope in it, but the truth is that words dont speak that much louder..actually, not at all. Words doesnt speak at all. Action does. The truth honestly hurts, but it certainly is reality. It's your typical slap in the face. I guess this is something that I must overcome and deal with. After all, time heals everything right? Gosh, I hate saying that sentence. I've said it many times and I cant believe I'm saying it again. ridiculous.

What point am i trying to make here? yeah, good question. Not so sure myself. I guess in all honestly, my point here is that words dont mean anything unless they are put into action. Never trust anybody. You heard me. I dont trust anybody in this world. I dont even trust my own parents. Sounds really awful, but my parents are like any other asian parents. If youre asian, you would know what I'm talking about. Friends? nope, cant trust them either. Guys? certainly cant trust them. It's just so hard for me to trust anybody. I think what my problem is the fact that I trust people's word too easily. I'm too nice, I guess. I want to believe in them, therefore I end up doing so anyways. When I do that, I end up getting hurt in the end. ok, i just read this paragraph and it makes no sense. hahaha.

its 1.30 am right now, and I should be sleeping but i cant. I just wish I can wake up and be the same ol me that I was before. I hate going through this emotional wreck feeling type of thing. I might be a positive and strong person, but in all honesty, I have a sensitive heart. Im not perfect, and its really hard to think positive when youre going through hell. But hey, time heals everything right? I guess this is another one of those life learning experience for me. I dont regret. I never regret. I learn from my mistakes and make sure I dont do it again.

yep, life goes on.

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

I'm so excited it's summer! But to be honest, I miss school. I know that sounds really wierd, but i miss studying. I miss going to campus, and being productive.

I don't know what's going on with me, but lately I've been feeling so excited. I know that we were placed on this earth for temporary, but I just gotta say I love life. I enjoy every bit of it, even the obstacles and hardships. I always try to stay positive. I'm the type of person who never gives up. When I do something, I do it whole heartedly (sp?) and I work hard for it. Even though I fail, I know that I tried my best for it and that's honestly what matters the most to me. I'm so excited what God has in store for me in the future. I see good things happening, and I know better things will happen in the near future. I think one of the most important things an individual should have is excitement.
If you're excited about life, and have a positive outlook in life, good things will happen. I know that sounds really hard to believe, but I mean everything requires patience and hard work. If you strive to do your best, everything and anything is possible. I'm saying this because I've experienced it, and gone through it. I know it isn't easy to think positive when you're going through hardships, because believe me...it was hard for me, but whenever I'm faced with difficulties, I always flip that problem into something good. I do believe that things happen for a reason, and everything has a reason behind it. (wow what a run on sentence!)

Be positive, and be excited in life! Have faith and expect good things to happen because as long as you believe, you're closer to achieving your wildest dreams :)


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Monday, May 17, 2010

I wish I can express how I truly feel in words. I have all these feelings and emotions inside of me, but I can't put them into words. I don't know how long I've been in this bubble. I wish it was easy for me to handle this situation, but it really isn't. :-/ i honestly don't know how long I can take this anymore. I wish I can follow my heart. I mean, what am I supposed to follow? My heart or mind? The heart is impulsive, but the mind is logic. Heart is what I want to follow, but the mind is like a slap in the face. I think what I fear most is failure. I feel like I should just go for it, take the risk and discover myself, but we all know it isn't easy to do. Well, at least for me :-/ what if I made the wrong decision? That's what I fear most. i dont think anybody in this world gets me or would ever understand this situation I'm in. I know for sure my parents won't. I want to make my own decisions, but I know for one that whatever decision I choose to make, it'll affect my whole family, and everything else that seem to be the reason why I'm still in this bubble.

What am I gonna do?



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Twitter

If you guys have twitter, follow me!

www.twitter.com/beautiifulstrug

I used to have it on private, but becuase I have to also use it for my internship, I had to leave it on public.

I'm laying in bed right now..thanks to my blogger app on my phone I can blog while laying in bed (: there's nothing much that happened today, except something interesting happened today, but that's all I'm gonna say about it.

Goodnight sweet dreams bloggers

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

I can't believe this semester is finally coming to an end. Despite how much I want this semester to end, I have to admit that this semester was by far the challengest semester yet. I know I say that every semester, but this year I felt like I really got to use my skills and knowledge. I felt like this semester really challenged myself to be prepared for the working world.

I just finished my last presentation of the semester. Our group was chosen and honored to present to Target executives and the Business Dean and it's department. The whole concept of this project deals with the idea of the cosmetic section in Target. Our goal was to basically change the entire cosmetic section and come up with something that is more appealing to the consumers, and in the same time increase sales and foot traffic. (if you haven't noticed, their current layout isn't very appealing). Basically if we win, we get a $1,000 scholarship. Unfortunately, we didn't win :( but I felt like either way, I'm happy with our presentation. I couldn't have done it a different way. It was such a great experience overall to even present to these people. I mean out of all the other groups, our Professor chose us to present, so that already was such a blessing and honor. (:

I have 2 semesters left until I graduate. I know that seems like forever, but I feel like it'll go by fairly quick. As much as I want to graduate asap and get out of school, I want to savor each and every moment I have this last year in school, learn as much as I can, and get as much experience I can possibly get. I value education so much. I mean I'm not perfect or a genius in any way. I dont get straight A's. In fact, as a student I've never gotten straight A's before, but I feel like as long as you tried your best and gave it your all, that's what matter most in the end, even if you fail. I mean nobody wants to fail or to lose in any situation, but I think every failure is definitely a learning experience. You take what you didn't do or could have done better as guide for you in the future.

"You live, and you learn" Alannis Morsette