hey everybodyy,
I`m here at Starbucks finishing up my online quiz for marketing before I head to work. Going to work yesterday was quite difficult. I really felt that tension, it seems like everywhere I go, I see him. Although I was never close to him, I was once his friend and he made a great impact in my life. We shared, we laughed, we had one of those deep talks on the way home from work, and now his gone. Its really hard, and not just for me, but for everyone. I question myself since the day his gone, "why?" Then I realized. Though his gone, he made such a big impact to all his friends life. He is such a nice person, very humble and kind. My manager, my other co workers, even the amigos in the back felt that loss at work. I passed by the bridge that he got hit, and there were a lot of flowers and sincere cards etc....There were a whole bunch of people too just staring and pondering. Its too fast Dai, its too soon. Youre too good. When I'm at work and its busy, I'm alright....when I'm at school and I'm studying I'm fine. But when its quiet, and at the end of the day, the thought of him leaving and the question "why?" is always on my mind. A person that I was never so close to really had an impact in my life. I try not to fret, not to be sad, not to cry. I know dai is in a better place, and I know his save. I really do want to see him for the last time in the funeral, but I cant bare to see him. I really cant. I know the right thing to do is to go, but ever since my grandpa passed away, I couldnt help myself to see another dead body or even a casket. It has always been by phobia, a.ka, "Fear". I want to remember his smile, that is why I chose not to go. People may not understand, I know alot of people who says that they go because its for dai, and I completely understand. If I could handle it, I would go in a heartbeat, but my body and soul can not even function to see a dead body or the thought of a casket!
That's it for now...
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