I should be studying for my finals right now, but I need a break. I've been studying at the library the whole day. Finals are too overwhelming, and I think I said that many times already. I can't wait for this thursday, when all of this will be over :)

It still haven't hit me yet that I'm going back to Indonesia. I'm super excited to see my family, go shopping, eat all the good foods. But above all, I'm mostly excited to see my grandpa. I miss him so much, words can't even express. My grandpa and I go way back when I was still a little girl. My parents left me a couple years after I was born to work in US, and my sister and I was left in Indonesia with my grandparents. My sister and I lived in different homes for some period of time. My mom's parents took care of my sister, and my dad's parents took care of me. My grandma and I never had a great relationship. It felt like her life was all about her and never about me. My grandpa was the one who took care of me since I was little and he was always the "hero", the one who was always stood by my side. May it be I peed in bed, threw up in the car, or cried at night cause I missed my mom, he was there for me. He never scolded me or punished me. I remember every night I would wait for him to get home from work, and he would show me how much money he made that night. I would be so happy to see him. I also remembered how much I loved bunnies when I was little girl, and so one day, he surprised me with 3 little white bunnies. It was seriously the happiest day of my life :) The next day, I found out that my bunnies died, but my grandpa wasn't even mad that I didn't took good care of it. I moved here when I was 3 years old to finally here in the US with my parents. My grandpa and grandma came here to live with us for a good amount of years. Because my grandpa had business over in Indonesia, he couldn't stay long and had to go back to Indonesia. I guess years after LDR between my grandpa and my grandma, their marriage went south, and never did I expect my grandpa to find another women in his life. A part of me hated him, but another part of me understood what he did and why he did it. If I could go on and explain the little details I would, but after all, good or bad, my family will always be my family and I can never talk down about my family like that. My grandma and my grandpa finally separated, and now he lives with his family in Indonesia. It really sucks because I barely get to see him, and if I do, it's always every 4-5 years. Although he cheated on my grandma, and chose another family over ours, I still love him to death. Every year, he would never miss my birthday. If I had all the money in this world, I will give it all to him. That's how much I love my grandpa. Writing this makes me have tears in my eyes :( If there is one important thing I learn in life, that is to never take anybody for granted. Even though I never took my grandpa for granted, I never realized how much I love him until his gone from my life. It's not like everyday that I could see or talk to him, and that really breaks my heart because he was a big part of my life since I was little.

I miss you grandpa & see you in 2 weeks.

<3>