Marriage

I'm not married, nor am I close to getting married. It is probably the biggest and longest decision that I'll ever have to make when the time comes. So why write about marriage, considering that I'm not even married yet? I couldn't find a greater answer other than the fact that I've always been interested in this topic itself. I'm no expert, I still have alot to learn, so you may or may not agree with me, and that's okay. These are simply just my opinion, and it can change overtime. Shall we start?

Marriage might seem to be simple to some people, but we all know it isn't as simple as 1,2,3. First, we got the wedding, the honeymoon phase, then after all that good stuff, comes the real marriage life. If I were to describe what marriage really is in one simple sentence, it will be, "either the marriage is successful or a failure." What is a successful marriage though? Well, I can't really answer that because I'm not married, and even though if I was married, I dont think I would be able to give you a concrete answer. I don't think a married couple can answer that either. I think the only person that can answer that question is a couple that has been married and retired; a.k.a when you're old. Why? Because they've been through it all. Through thick and thin, and and through all the gutters possibly imagined.

Even though I can't answer "what is a successful marriage", a couple things I do know is that a successful marriage requires commitment, communication and trust. I think a lack in one of those criterias is the ultimate cause of a divorce. Commitment, communication and trust is the foundation to any relationships. Even before getting married, I believe that these 3 criterias need to occur first. You need commitment, because without commitment there is sinply no relationship. Commitment does not only require you to commit your whole being to your spouse, but it is sacrificing and dedicating your life to them. It also requires time. If you're one of those workaholics that works day and night, I don't suggest you to get married! Marriage also needs communication. Misundertandings and misconmunications can also lead to divorce. You need communication period. Trust is probably the most important criteria in a marriage. Without trust, there is no commitment, and vice versa. Trust is the foundation of any relationship.

Now, here comes the juicy part. Divorce! So what really causes divorce? I think a lack of either commitment, communication and trust is the cause of divorce. Americans tend to believe that divorce is okay. I dont know how many times that I've heard celebrity news on divorce. It just seems that divorce in this country is considered to be "okay" and a "normal" thing. It's like a trend, you know? One season you get married, the next season you divorce. It seems to be a hot trend in America. I think one of the most important thing that people need to remember is that no one is perfect. Every individual is different, and there will always be differences between two people, so work it out! You might not see it in the boyfriend/girlfriend phase, but sooner or later you`ll see it, especially in marriage. As much differences, disagreements and arguements a couple might encounter, divorce is just not acceptable. You got yourself into this, so deal with it! grow up!!! If yall are not ready to get married, then dont! If you dont think he/she is a match, then dont get married! You married people reading my blog might be thinking, "this girl is a child! she doesnt know nothing!" I might not know everything, and yes, all divorce cases are different and maybe people wont ever understand your case, but getting a divorce certainly does not solve anything. You're probably making it worse, especially if you have children.

Here comes the part for all the women out there :) Again, this is just my opinion. Here goes: ALL GUYS ARE JERKS. No matter what, in all circumstances, in all cases, guys will always be guys. If a hot sexy women is flirting or being seductive, and your guys sees it, wouldnt he be attracted or tempted? I bet you you a million dollars he would. Dont be stupid ladies! Stop being naive, and face the truth! I know trust is the number #1 thing you MUST MUST do in any relationship or marriage, I'm not saying not to trust them. You can trust them 110%, but dont be blind. If your husband is constantly coming home late from work everyday, that should be a hint that something fishy is going on. Guys will always be guys! There will always be temptation in them, and I guess I can say this goes to women as well. Cheating on your spouse is just unacceptable. I think many divorce cases deals all because one of the spouce is cheating with somebody else.

Overall, marriage is beautiful, but I'm certainly not ready for it yet! NOT AT ALL. I still have so much to accomplish, so much I want to do for myself before I plan on settling down. I think the most important thing us women, or men as well, need to remember is that we need to find our own goals, and reach them. dream big. Theres no price for dreamig. Have a vision, and set goals to accomplish them, because once you are married, you are living a whole different life and you may not be able to do the things you want to do. As for me, I'm living my life day by day, and achieving my dream and be a millionaire. :) hahaha, just kidding...

Hope this helps...

Blessd day,
Jess