Hey everybodyy,

How was everyone's weekend? Mines was okay. On saturday, I hung out in Mountain View. Stayed in his office for a while, and went to gelayo gusto to study. On sunday, it was my dad's birthday. I had lunch with the family. Yep, my weekend was okay. Nothing special. ^^

I just finished my exam today. A part of me feels relieved, but I still have one more Finance exam tomorrow to endure. Today is such a beautiiiiffuuulll day. I wish I could just lay down in the beach and spend time under the sun without worrying about anything. I shouldnt even be blogging..hahah, but I just got off class, and I need a break! I'll start again at 2.30? hehehe. Hope so. I know I'll be up all night tonight. I should have never drank that coffee this morning. I dont know why, my body doesnt work well with coffee. I have jitters and I get nervous after drinking coffee. BUT, I still drink it anyway...hehe

------------
Its been days now that I wasnt able to sleep. I went to bed, but just layed there. My body and eyes are tired, but I just couldnt sleep. Have you ever had that feeling? Youre completely exhausted, but for some reason you cant sleep? I made a promise to myself. I tried my best...I did everything I possibly could, but I cant keep blaming myself. I cant hide my feelings. I cant simply ignore it. Why is this always happening to me? I just wish I knew the answer. I wish it was that simple. From hating the feeling of it, it gets to the point where I really dont mind. You know what I realized? All this time, I've been trying to ignore the thought, the feelings and emotions I had, but you know what? I really dont care anymore. I dont want to have to lie to myself. It is impossible to earase it, and I realized it is okay to think about it because thats just life. I just gotta deal with it. Its like I've been having this sense of guilt for myself. I hate it so much, but in the same time, I miss it. I just dont understand all of this. I dont understand myself! kenapa seh loe harus mikirin...why?


Ill get over this someday, one day.