Hi everybody,

I'm back to another week of school. I'm actually starting to love this semester more than I thought I would, despite of the hectic and crazy schedule. I think this semester will be by far my best semester. I have a feeling :) My goal for this semester is to aim for A's. It seem so impossible just 'cause I'm taking 6 hard core classes, and considering that I have a not so good time management, but I'm working my butt off just to raise my GPA. Yeah, my GPA isn't looking so good right now, and I have to raise it for internships. AHHH, stressing me out! This is seriously making me go crazy. Sometimes I feel like I dont know how to do everything all at once, and I dont even know if I can aim for 6 A'S, but I really need to raise my GPA. That's probably my biggest concern and goal. PLEASE HELP ME GOD!!! you can do it jess you can do itt...!

I dont have class until 7pm tonight. Sucks, but I dont really mind cause I can actually catch up on my readings the whole day. I really hate night classes, but I rather by night classes rather than morning classes. I just hope this class will be entertaining. On the bright side, I dont have classes on fridays, which means I have a 3 day weekend this semester :) This week, I have a 4 day weekend! Yay to labor day!

Ollright guys, dont even know why I am blogging when I should be reading. Cheers to everyone! :)

blessed day,
Jess

Time heals everything...

Isn't funny how time can heal just about anything? I was reading through my previous blogs like I always do, and it's been a while since I've mention about it. Time does heal everything. In my case, unfortunately, it took me couple of years to realize and wake up to the truth. I felt so stupid. Sometimes when I think about it, I just laugh it out. I mean, everyone isnt perfect right. I felt so guilty having that emotions and feelings that I know I should'nt be having. But what was I supposed to do? I cant help myself. I feel things for a reason. I think of things for a reason. I dont even know what is the reason, but anyway, time heals everything. I'm happy now, even though it took this longggg to get over it, I think this time I'm starting to realize the truth. I dont feel like a fool. I feel stupid at times for thinking about it, but I dont feel like a fool. I think its normal for humans to think of certain things especially their past and just cant get over it. OH well right? Life is life. Sometimes though, I wish that things couldve been different. I wish that we could still be friends, but I guess some things are just not meant to be permanent in your lives. Some things stays, some things are meant to go. <3

Anyway, fall semester started this week. I am already feeling the pressure. I dont even know what to study for first. It is really frustrating, but I'm trying to be positive about it and go day by day. ahhh. God please give me the strength!!!!

Hey guys,

It's been a while since I blogged. I got back from San Diego last week. That was my last big vacation before fall semester starts. I start class again tomorrow. I'm somewhat excited, somewhat not. I hate having to purchase bundles of textbooks that costs so much. And in the end, I cant sell them because they usually come up with new editions for the next semester. Well, that's the way they make money right? This semester is going to be a tough one. It's been a while since I took 6 classes. All my friends think I'm crazy for taking so much classes, considering that they are pretty hard core, but I believe I can do it. I mean, I took 7 classes before! I know quality is better than quantity, but I know with God, all things are possible.

I am excited that summer is coming to an end, and winter is coming! Bring on the boots and scarfs! :) Lately, I've been playing the piano again. Well, I've been trying to get back to playing the piano. It's been a while since I play the piano or even touch it. I used to take piano lessons back then, but its just been so long since I played the piano. I'm still working on it, and brushing my skills. So, maybe I'll play a song for you guys :)

Alright, well I dont know what else to say. I'll try to blog more often, but since fall semester is starting, I cant promise anything. But whoever reads my blog should know me. I either blog my feelings out or blog randomly. :)

Have a blessed day everyone! Jesus Bless you!

Jess <3

Hey guys,

I can`t believe summer is coming to an end. I'm actually not sad that summer is ending. This summer went by so slow, and to be honest, I'm excited for school to start. I need something to look forward to. I need to be productive! I miss procrastinating, and staying up late doing papers or studying for exams. I know, believe it or not I am. But I know for sure after a couple weeks of school, I'll be wishing it's the holiday already. :)

These couple of weeks, I feel like I've been dreaming. I feel like I've been living in my own little world. I don't know how to explain it. I miss the feeling. I miss that excitement. I don't know for some reason, I've been so happy lately. I've been waking up in the morning with the biggest smile on my face for no reason at all. I don't know, I feel like words cant even describe how cheerful and joyful I am. There would be times where I just smile and the feeling of happiness is just so powerful that I smile for no reason. haha. I dont know if that made any sense or not. I feel like I'm repeating myself, but you know sometimes happiness can not be bought with money or material. Finding true happiness is surely from within. That sounds really vague, but its so true. As of right now, I feel like my life is so complicated. I dont think anyone will ever understand how complicated it is. Reading my blogs doesnt get you to understand how complicated it is. Sometimes I am that type of person that doesnt like to tell anyone how I feel. I keep it in my heart and in my mind. I learned that its not a good thing to hide things. I shared to a couple of my friends, and honestly, I am so happy to have friends who are willing to listen and willing to help me, even if it is just giving me a simple advice. I know have such great friends, and I am so grateful for it.

I havent decide anything yet. I havent break the egg shell. I dont know if I ever will. I just feel so unright doing it. I guess I just have to hinder myself away from it? I dont know. I really dont know what to do. If you guys are reading this, you might not understand or get anything I'm writing, and thats okay. You can stop reading, cause I'll be talking nonsense from now. ^^ It just feels so right, but in the same time its wrong. I'm really confused and frustrated. I dont know what is the right thing to do, I really dont. Only if life is simple as 1 2 3 right? I think one day, I will break that shell, but for now, I have to keep it to myself. :(

Life.

Life seems so great right now...at least for me. I don't know how long this feeling would last, but I lately, I've been feeling so happy. I wake up in the morning with the best mood ever with no reason. :) I'm not sure of what I did was wrong, but my intentions are nothing more. In a way, I should have left it the way it was, because deep down I know it is not right. But on the other hand, I knew if I did not take the chance, I would wonder and regret it in the end. Right now, I just don't know what is right and what is wrong. If anything, I'm just so happy.

In life, there is a time for everything, right? A time to slack off, a time when you just don't care about your education or work, a time where everything just seems to go downhill, a time to cry and a time to mend. But there comes a time in life in everyone where a light bulb just suddenly pops into your brain, and you suddenly realize that life is not worth living unless you do something great with it. Guess what? That shiny light bulb that's been lost for years has finally struck my brain like a lightening bolt. These couple years I've been in University has been great, but there was nothing in particular that excites me or motivates me. Sometimes, I try to motivate myself and find my own excitement in life, but just hearing the downfall of the economy, unemployment rates, and how hard it is to find jobs truly brought my excitement to the lowest level of levels. I've always had a dream of making it big one day, and working for some big company in the future, but that feeling just suddenly disappeared a couple years back. It's like I finally saw a light, and I'm trying to aim and reach for that light, but somewhere along the line, I felt like it is just too impossible to reach to that light, because there were many things in my way. I'm not blaming anybody...if anything, I blame myself. All these years, I have done what pleases other people. Everything I do is to please my parents. I was so scared to walk out of my comfort zone, and stand up for myself. I did what they wanted me to do, because deep down I felt like that was the right thing. Even though I had these many goals and visions I want to pursue and see myself becoming in the future, I felt like everything leads to a dead end. The idea of having to make two choices later in the future frightens me. Honestly, all my goals that I want to achieve, I was not excited about it. I did not work hard for it. I just didn't care. I just wanted to go with the flow and see where I will end up after I graduate. But, after that light bulb strike in my head, I've realized that life is truly worth nothing unless you do something that makes you happy. What I mean by 'what makes you happy' is not just from your surroundings, but what you're passionate about; making your dreams become into reality.

It was hard on me for a while, because I was confused and frustrated. I'm like a little child squeezed in the middle of a crowd clueless. I felt like the right thing to do is follow him wherever he will go in the end, but where does that leave me? In one point of my life, I felt like it was just so useless to follow my dream and pursue what I want to do, because whatever I do, I will end up in one place: Indonesia. Working my ass off is not going to be worth it. I cant live my dreams there, that's not where my heart is. I felt like I've been such a child. I've been the follower, when I'm supposed to be the leader and the decision maker for myself. Deep down, I think its a nice gesture of me. I do it because I cared about him and I wanted us to work out in the long run, but is this what really makes me happy? What if someday things went south, what am I left with? Nothing.

This week, I've awaken and realized the importance of life. I learned that you need to make your own decisions in life, and stand up for what you believe in. I felt like all these years I've been dragged around. I felt scared to open up and say what I want to do with my life, because my parents might not approve. I chose accounting for goodness sake because my parents wanted me to take it. I tried to love it, but that was just not me. You have to be passionate about something. Set a goal, and achieve it. And you know what? I've finally found mines. I'm not gonna think about all these negativities, and how competitive my field might be, because I really don't care. Everywhere you go is competitive if you really think about. If I love it that much, I will work my butt off like crazy until I get what I want. I am so passionate about this, and I really want to make my dreams come true. I sound like a little girl right now, I know, but hey! You need to be excited in life. You need that drive and motivation that gets you moving, or else you're nothing. You gotta stand out as an individual :) As of right now, I really am not worrying about my future. I'm not worrying about going back to Indonesia or weather to follow him or not, because for once, I want to do something for myself. I want to see myself succeed. :)

No more looking back. No more negativities. Doing what you are passionate about really feels great, especially after you get your result. That feels even better :) Dont ever give up. Strive for the best. Life is too precious. :)

Sunday

Happy Sunday!

Today was such a different sunday than any other sundays. We officially moved to our new building today, so the service time changed to 9am and 11 am. I minister, so that means I have to attend 2 services. Ahh, what a big transition. I really do hate waking up early in the morning, but I shouldnt complain, cause our God is a great God, right? Our soft opening today was amazing and powerful. I'm so amazed how many great things that God has done; not just in my life or my family, but for the church as well. I think He has something great in store for us in the near future. I'm excited.

Anyway, to sum up my day, I had the worse cramp at church. I was standing in the stage and I couldnt help. I have a heartburn, and I guess thats what I get for not eating a little before I sing in front. After church, I had lunch with some friends and now I'm just home. I'M SO DRAINED! ^^ These couple of days, I've been waking up super super early. You can tell that my eyes right now looks so tired and red. :( I should nap, but I'm afraid I wont be able to sleep tonight.

Alrighty, well I have nothing else to say so I'll be back :) (I think im gonna sleep...i cant take it anymore! )

So many emotions are running through my veins right now. I was chatting with my friend a couple days ago, and he tells me to stop being depress, and he also said that I've been sad lately. Ok, I'm not always depressed or sad. He told me that all my status from facebook seems so depressing. The truth is I'm not! I am perfectly fine, and I am not always sad. I love life. I'm enjoying it, and I'm not always moody okay! I'm a cheerful person. When I tweet or type a certain something in my facebook that is sad doesnt mean I'm always depressed or emotional. Maybe I should stop tweeting and putting things on my fb, because people are starting to think I'm an emotional person. :/ I'm happy most of the time guys, I'm not an "emo" person. No body is perfect. Everyone has their own personal stories or problems. Most of the time when I'm feeling down, I either blog or tweet about it. That's just who I am. I put my emotions through words instead of telling it to people (only my close friends). I hope people would stop thinking I'm an emotional person, because I'm not. :) I just tend to reveal everything into words. Okay, enough of this shinanigans.

This week, our church is moving to a new building. Finally, after 20 something years, we finally have our own place. :) You know, I've never really made a big deal about it, but to think about it, its such a blessing to actually have our own building. Without God's mercy, none of this will happen. He is such a great God. I'm no super crazy religious person. Dont get me wrong. I'm not perfect. I still sin. That sounds horrible, but I still do. Being a Christian doesnt gauranteed you that you will go to heaven. The most important thing is your heart. God has done so many wonderful and miraculous things in my life. He has poured out so much blessings for me and my family. God is Good...

Alright, I'm gonna stay away from the computer now. Till then ^^

jess

20 Questions

Hey Everybody, I found this little mini survey from Guru's on YouTube, and I wanted to take it. ^^ So here it is:

1--Thing you cannot leave the house without ?
I would say my phone, but that would be very cliche of me to say. So umm...I guess it would be a hand sanitizer. I carry a hand sanitizer with me wherever I go. I can't live without it. Germs are everywhere, and you may never know what you're touching or what may be dangerous, so it's very important to carry a hand sanitizer in your bag or car.

2--Favorite Brand of makeup?
This is hard. I love all brands of make up. I personally dont use a lot of colored make ups, but I do buy a whole lot of make up just to experiment and have fun with it. I usually use neutral colors like shades of brown and shades of peach. Wait, thats not the question! haha. Okay, favorite makeup, hmm...I would have to say Urban Decay and Bare Esscentuals. I love Bare Esscentual's eye shadow because not only are they a mineral eye shadow, but they are so pigmented. Its so beautiful. Urban decay has the best primer potion and eye liner. Love it!

3--Favorite Flower ?
My favorite flower are Orchids. I love Orchids! They are so beautiful. It's funny, because usually when it's my birthday or anniversary, I would tell my boyfriend that if he is planning to buy me flowers, get me a Orchid instead. I love purple and white Orchids the best.

4-- Favorite clothing store?
Hmm, I dont have a favorite clothing store. You would see me everywhere. I shop whatever that fits me and what looks good on me, so I dont really have a typical favorite clothing store. If I were to choose, then I would say Forever 21 and Zara.

5--Favorite Perfume ?
When it comes to perfume and fragrances, I'm so crazy about it. I have a lot of perfumes that I love, but there are 2 that I commonly use and these 2 are my all time favorites: First, Parlux Guess de Parfum. It contains a scent of tangerine, green apple, dewy freesia, pink peony, delicate muguet, peach, red fruit, cedar wood, amber, and musk. It smells so good. Nothing strong. Second, Dior J'Adore by Christian Dior. I love love this smell. It smells so sophisticated and sexy. Both perfumes are light and feels soft.

6--Heels or flats ?
I use both heels and flats. It depend on the occasion, what day/event, when, and where I'm going. For church or a nice dinner out, I would use heels. On a usual day, I wear flats, `cause wearing too much heels does damage my foot. I love both heels and flats equally though.

7--Do you make good grades ?
I have to. I try to maintain above average, and aim for the best. I try my best in everything, and never giving up. I think giving up is such a bad quality to have in a person. Strive for the best! I'm not perfect. I dont have the best grades, but I try my very best, and if I dont end up getting the perfect grade, at least I know that I've tried my hardest. I think thats the most important thing. I still need to work harder. -_-

8--Favorite colors?
Purple. I loved purple since I was a little girl. My favorite color does change from time to time though. It depends on my mood and probably the season. I love white and black when it comes to clothing. You wouldnt see me wearing a whole lot of bright colors.

9--Do you drink energy drinks?
Absolutely no. Too much sugar. It's bad for you too. If I do have a big exam coming up, and if I REALLY feel like I need to consume a dose of energy drink, then I would go for the 5 Hour Energy Drink. It's different from the typical energy drinks like Redbull or Rockstar. Why? Because 5 Hour Energy Drink contains lots of vitamins, especially Vitamin B. No sugar added, and no carb`. It gives you a longer lasting energy without crashing later!

10--Do you drink juice?
I drink juice. I like it, but I'm not a big fan of it. Meaning, I can live without it. I dont like drinks that is super sweet. Some juices are very sweet. I can't take that. My favorite juice would be orange juice. I love strawberry banana smoothie though. hehe. :)


11--Do you like swimming ?
This is embarassing, but I can't really swim. I love being in the water. I love splashing and just the feeling of being in the water is fun. But, to actually swim, I'm not so good at it. An embarrassing story: When I was in middle school, I took swimming classes, and I never passed the first level. I stayed in the first level 3 times! Embarrassing, huh? ^^ I can do back strokes and freestyle, but I cant keep it consistent.

12--Do you eat fries with a fork ?
If I was eating in a fancy restaurant, then I would use a fork. But if it was In-and- out or any kind or regular fries, then of-coz I use my fingers!

13--Favorite Moisturizer?
Shiseido, hands down! I love their moisturizer. It leaves your skin perfectly flawless. It is not oily. Some moisturizer makes your skin sticky and oily, but Shiseido's moisturizer is just perfect for my skin.

14--Do you want to get married later on in life?
Marriage is definetly something I want to do later on in my life, but not right now. I still have a lot of things I want to do in life. Goals and dreams I want to pursue, so it's definetly not anytime soon. Unless someone proposes me with a big huge diamond ring, then I'll probably think about it. haha. Jk. ^^

15--Do you get mad easily?
It really depends what situation I'm in. If something or someone makes me mad, then of course I'll be mad. I'm not the type of person that hide things. I dont think I'm even good at it. If I dont like you, I'll show it by not talking to you. I dont create problems or fights or anything like that. I handle my anger with silence. Unless, it was my boyfriend or my parents then I'll defintely show it! hehe.

16--Are you into Ghost Hunting ?
Ghost hunting? What? No. I like watching ghost hunting shows on tv, 'cause they are very entertaining, but I dont go around ghost hunting. That's just scary.

17-- Any phobias?
I think I've mentioned this 100 times on my blog, I have a fear or coffins. That's all I'm gonna say. Read my previous blogs. :) What else? I would say heights. Is that considered as a phobia? Recently, I've been annoyed being in clustered places. So, that would make me a clusterphobic. I am so clusterphobic.

18--Do you bite your nails ?
I do. It's such a bad habit. I bite especially when I'm nervous. I dont bite them anymore though, `cause it's bad for you, right? My nails are really one of a kind. It would grow beautifully a period of time, and then it just breaks when it gets even longer. I guess I need vitamins, because my nails are so fragile.

19--Have you ever had a near death experience?
No. I dont want to, and I hope I will not encounter anything like that. I think I had a thought of suicide long time ago when I was in high school, because I was experiencing a lot of peer pressure and stress. On top of that, my self esteem was extremly low in the very beginning of my high school year, and I guess that lead me thinking about suicide. Never again will I ever think of suicide.

20--Do you drink coffee ?
Oh, I love coffee! BUT, I can not consume any more coffee. My body does not function well with coffee. I start to shake and get jitters when I drink caffiene. I get naughty and drink coffee when I feel like it, but I have to remind myself not to drink coffee. I've been drinking a whole lot of green tea. I love green tea!

3 top destinations

Hi all, so I've added 3 other destinations that I want to visit before I die. I dont know if I will ever visit ALL of these places in my lifetime, including the other 5 I wrote on my previous blogs, but hey, maybe one day I will get the chance to travel and get a little taste of these places. So here is the other 3 destinations:

1.) British Columbia, Canada
2.) Greece
3.) Australia


British Columbia, Canada

I think I've been watching too much of the Bachelorette, but there were some episodes of the Bachelorette when they were in Jillian's hometown, and when I was watching, I was completely in awe! British Columbia is so beautiful and spectacular. You know, to be honest, I never even heard of British Columbia. Let alone, I didnt even knew it existed in Canada. I've only heard of Vancouver. I know, I'm crazy! From the city, to the lakes, to the mountains...British Columbia has to be the major top place I have to go before I die. My close friend went there last december, and told me how beautiful it was. I want to visit Victoria, the capital city. I also want to visit Vancouver island, and climb up their tallest mountains! I also want to take a ride in the train. I want a lot of things! I think British Columbia is probably the most beautiful city I've seen so far (by picture). The city alone is so romantic, relaxing, yet sophisticated and urban. Check this website out: http://www.hellobc.com/en-CA/default.htm

British Columbia, you are a beauty! One day I'll visit you :)


Greece

Who doesnt want to go to Greece? Well, I do! I dont know much about Greece. I dont even like the food, but I know that Greece has so much culture and history. Aside of the beautiful beaches, I want to visit the Ancient Acropolis Architectures, their Monuments, and also Art Museums. I was never really interested in art, but I think Greece has so much history with their art. Oh, and one more thing, I want to visit the Greek Stadium. So much history! I'm not forgetting the beaches though. The crystal clear waters are to die for. I also want to visit their Nude beaches. I heard it's famous for it. Dont get me wrong. I wont go nude! But, I'm just interested.



Dubai

I dont know much about this city either, but I am amazed by the tall unique buildings, and the city alone at night is beautiful. I never thought the Middle East would be as beautiful, but Dubai is definetly a beautiful city.

Never judge a book by its cover

I'm guessing everyone's heard of that line before; "Never judge a book by its cover." Last 2 weeks ago, my dad suggested to try this Thai restaurant out near our area after church. We never knew there were Thai restos around our area. This place was near a residential area, located in the corner beside a house, very small, dark, and seems from the outside looks like there were not many people inside. Unfortunately, they closed on sundays. I knew that it was a sign that we should'nt even bother going inside because probably it wouldnt be good. That following week, my dad was still curious and anxious, so we gave it another visit. It was open this time. Throughout the ride from our house to the resto, my mom and I made a bet with my dad that if this resto wasnt good, he'll give ME 50$. hahah....I really didnt had the tastebuds to go to a resto especially if it is not crowded. To make the story short, I was wrong. The food was delicious. It was beyong my expectation, and the service was so friendly and warm. They were very welcoming. While I was waiting for my food, I watched customers ordering to go and picking their food up, and I saw how close the customers were to the manager. They seemed to be an all time customer. Gosh, I felt so bad, because I judged their resto from the way it looked outside. I was so surprised how good this place was, but on top of that, how great of an experience I had here.

So whats the lesson? NEVER JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COVER. After this experience, I truly learn to look outside the box, think bigger, and defintely not judge something that we dont know. I truly felt bad :(

I have been so lazy to blog lately. Usually throughout the day, I would have things in mind and stories to share, but when I get home, I'm sleep til 4 am. On thursdaalready too tired to blog. Either its already too late, or I'm just not in the mood. I twitter instead. Nothing much has been going on. Nothing so interesting? Summer seems so long, and I'm trying to find some activity that will keep me busy. I actually found one, and I'm starting on this project starting tomorrow. I hope by the end of summer, I will be a PRO and hope to jump to the next level.

Lately, I've been sleeping really late. This past week, I've been undergoing a really horrible lack of sleep. I drank coffee and I couldnt sleep till 5.30 am. The next day, I drank green tea that has caffeine, and couldnt sleep til 4 am. The next day, I slept at 3am, woke up at 8am to work the whole day. On saturday (yesterday), I slept around 1am, woke up at 7am for music practice. Ahhh, I'm not getting enough sleep. YEA, its my fault. :( I love coffee, I really do, but I have to stop drinking it! My body cant take any more coffee, or any kind of caffeine. I have jitters and start to shake badly. haizz....I'm so stubborn!

I've been addicted to Prison Break. In fact, I have been watching this show for the past few weeks, everyday! ahhh. It's so addicting. Great show. Great actors. Great storyline. Michael Scofield, a.k.a Wentworth Miller is definetly a hottie! His such a great actor!!! ahhhhh, im in love with him! hehe...

OK im gonna head to bed now. Sorry for this choppy blog. God bless!

xoxo, Jess

Hey everybody...

Hope you guys had a great weekend. As for me, my weekend was alright, except the fact that I think I'm getting sick. I don't know if it was probably the Thai food that I ate today for dinner, or maybe I just caught it? I feel so ill these couple of hours. I feel like throwing up, but it wont come out. My body feels cold, but it's warm. My throat hurt when I swallow. I'm not coughing or have stuffy nose, thank God. I think it was because I went home so late around 2am last night after watching Transformers. I wore shorts and a tank top due to the heat outside (it was hot at night). I hope I get better soon.

Anyway, so far, my summer has been fun/boring/unproductive. I guess its a mix of all three things in some days. I should have taken summer school, but I thought I was going back to Indo that is why I didnt take summer class. I havent gone back for almost 2 years, and although most of my family is here in US, 80% of them are still in Indo, and I just want to see them again cause I miss them dearly. Life in US and Indo' is completely different, totally the opposite. I said once that I dont see myself living there, but I dont mind a vacation. A couple of weeks to a month is perfect for me, but more than 1 month, I dont think I'll be able to stand the heat and crazyness of Indonesia. I cant even stand a day of the heat and traffic!

I'm still working on my OASIS, and hopefully to get it done by the end of july, because I really need to get that out of the way. I'm the Queen when it comes to procrastination. I procrastinate alot, and it's such a bad habit. It's not a good thing, and I'm still learning to stop procrastinating and start DOING IT! I actually take that back. hehe. ^^ I'm not as horrible as you think. I procrastinate, but by the end of the day, I'll feel bad for not doing it, so I end up doing it anyways. I'll feel guilty if I dont! So, I procrastinate, but show some action in the end. Not bad right? hehehe. Talking about procrastination, tomorrow would be a great day to finish up my Oasis because mondays are a laid back day for me.

It's 12 am right now, and I'm gonna try to get some sleep. Need to get as much rest as I can. I slept at 3 am last night :/ Goodnite everyonee.





trying my best....

lonely friday night

It's Friday night, and where am I? at home!!! :( I usually work on Friday nights, but we planned to go San Diego this tonight, that is why I didn't work. And guess what happens? People bail out on me! Guys oh guys...they don't want to drive, so we didnt end up going, and decided to fly next week. I was looking forward to it too! I could have work and enjoyed my friday night at work...(yes I enjoy working) heheh....Despite of the crazyness and hecticness, I enjoy working fridays. I'm stuck at home right now. :( I guess I shouldnt complain...

Anyway, yesterday at work, I experienced something very unatural, out of the ordinary and may I say wierd? Theres this old chinese guy that has been coming to my workplace every week since last year, and he never comes with this family or friends, only himself. He is beyond wierd. He smiles and laughs out of nowhere, he stares at me and ahhhh, it gives me the chills! To make the story short, while he was waiting for his table, he handed me his number inside this tiny envelope. Inside that tiny envelope was a USB memory stick. He told me, "You can throw away that memory stick, but keep my number." First of all, why would he give me his number inside an envelope along with a memory stick if he told me to throw it away? why couldnt he just give me the number without the envelope inside with the memory stick? And what's more creepier is behind his number, was a name card from a PHD from NY University from the health/Psychology department. His probably a patient there? To think of it, it makes sense. He has some brain problems....I know this is so mean of me to say this, but only if you knew him, you would understand how totally creepy he is. A customer even told me how creepy he was. I clocked out earlier yesterday, told my manager the story, and when i was i the back, he asked where i was to my coworker. my goooodnesss.....Thank God I have a manager who truly cares about my safety! I need to stop being nice to customers. Some takes it the wrong way. This sucks...

So, I will head out alone and hope for the best
We can pat ourselves on the back and say that we tried
And if one of us makes it big
We can spill our regrets
And talk about how the love never dies
But you and I know the reason why...

These past few days, everywhere I go, seems to remind me of it. It's funny that a small thing can go a long way. My friend kept mentioning about it. Am I supposed to stay quiet, and pretend that I did'nt hear what he/she said? Am I supposed to lie and hide my face from the truth? Its been a long while that I went there, and going back there brings back so many memories. I try to keep all the good, and throw all the bad. As much as I hated my friend for mentioning it, I also hated the feeling of having to hide. I dont want to remember anymore. I want to forget it all. I want to step forward, not step back. I think I did pretty well all this time, and yes, I have completely let go. Maybe there are just some things that can not be forgotten permanently, like memories and places that I once went. I stood near that bench, smiled and your face quickly disappeared. Its so funny the many areas that reminds me of it.

I stood there, gazed around the beautiful city, and sniffed the afternoon breeze, but all i can remember is it. Its the ambiance, I'll get over it soon...

CHI Silk Infusion

Damaged Hair? Dry hair? CHI Silk Infusion is your answer to a perfect soft and silky hair! I'm terrible at adverstising, but this CHI Silk Infusion works like magic. No kidding. You know how some products say they work, and "worth it" to buy but really it isn't? Well, this product will amaze those with damaged and dry hair. My hair is not oily, and is not dry. BUT, I use hot tools very oftenly to achieve my desired hair, and yes, it does damages my hair if I dont use any syrum. I've also noticed that my split ends are getting worser and worser, and if you dont know me, HAIR is my number #1 concern, then skincare. I cant manage to have dry damaged hair, and if I do, I just dont feel confident. Everyone has something that their not confident about right? Well, this is mines.

Long before I discovered this amazing product, I tried many products to heal my damaged and dry hair. From all kinds of syrum and spray, anything you can possibly imagine. BUT, none of those products compared to CHI Silk Infusion. When I read reviews online, I felt hopeless and had figured that maybe this product is just like the other products I've tried. I was skeptical, but I gave it a try anyway, and bought this product near my local beauty store. When I first tried it, it was HEAVEN! haha....sorry for my cheesyness, but seriously, its so magical! It makes my hair softer, silkier, sleeek, shiny, and just beautiful!

CHI Silk Infusion is enriched with pure natural silk, wheat and soy proteins, leaving your hair silky softness, super manageability and unbeatable shine. It protects your hair against thermal styling. If you're the type of person who uses curling and flat irons, this is probably the best product I would recommend. The texture is very oily, smells like orange. Pour a little in your hands and rub or stroke throroughly in your hair before prepping and ironing you hair. You can put it in either damped or dry hair. A little goes along the way, so don't put too much because it is oily, but the good thing is that it DOESNT make your hair looking oily. You know how some products makes your hair super oily? CHI Silk Infusion doesnt give you that oily looking hair.

Enjoy your soft and silky hair! ^^

Weekend

I hope everyone had a great weekend, cause I sure did! :) On saturday, I accompanied Jastien at the office for an hour. That was probably the shortest I've hung out in the office on a saturday cause usually it is 6-8 hours long filled with "nothing-to-do-ness". You have no idea how happy I was. I also accompanied him to get a hair cut, which was probably the fastest hair experience. Cutting guy's hair is super fast comparing to women! After that, we had dim sum, then had frozen yogurt, then we went to stroll down in SR, known as Santana Row. I love going there on Saturdays. I never seem to get tired or bored of that place, especially on saturdays! There are always events and music, and the environment is so relaxing! After strolling down in SR, we decided to cook some dinner at home. So, we went to Wholes Food and did some grocery shopping. I love grocery shopping with my hunny. He is the most patient guy ever! hahaa....I spend like, I dont know...hours deciding what to cook and what to buy and all the ingredients and what not, and his just so patient, but so picky! Btw, I love Wholes Food Market. It is probably my favorite grocery shopping market. Nothing compared to Safeway and Traders Joes!!! Too bad there is no Wholes Food near my area. Anyway, after hours of grocery shopping, we went to his place and turned on the grill! Had dinner, and watched endless episodes of Prison Break. I cant get enough of that show. Wentworth Miller is def` a hottie :)

Today, Fathers Day, I went to church and after church I took my family out to dinner. Food was so-so, service was bad. It didnt matter though, because I was surrounded with people who i love. Nothing beats more than a family. Did that make sense? hahaha...

Alright, honestly, I dont like doing these updates and "what I did" sort of thing, it reminds me of English class. Run on sentences...and essays that makes teachers fall asleep.

caio bella, goodnite :)
Jess

Q u i e t

There has been some things in my mind lately that I wish I had the answers to. I honestly wish I knew how my future will be like 3,4,5, or more years from now, but no one can depict the future right? I feel like I'm stuck in between. I feel like I know where my road is going to end, and right now, I dont think I want to end in that road, but I feel like I have no choice. I never thought it would be this hard to decide. I know it is still a couple years down the road, but there are decisions that needs to be discussed and planned before it is time to hit down that particular road. I dont know how my future will be like nor do I know how my life would be like 3-5 years from now, but I just have a feeling 100% that he may want to move back and live there for good, and for me, that is a huge decision. Maybe right now, I'm still close minded. Maybe later on, I will see that its not that bad after all moving out of the US? Maybe...I hope. As of right now, I dont see myself living else where. I honestly want to stay in the US, work here, raise my family here....live here till I die. I honestly dont see myself living back there. Its a huge decision for me. For him, it isnt so complicated, but for me, considering that I was grown here in the US, its gonna be a tough decision for me. Giving up everything...it's unbelievably hard to imagine. I dont wanna think about it, but c`mon, 3-4 years is just right around the corner! time flies by so quickly!

Well, I dont know. I honestly dont think worrying is gonna get me anywhere or give me any solution. I guess I`ll just have to let go and let God do His work. I know that when the time comes, whatever decision I make will be the right decision because wherever God places me, is the place where He wants me to be. :)

goodnight guys.

Jess

I had a bittersweet weekend. Started off in the wrong foot, but end the weekend with tears of happiness. I guess that's how I would put it. ^^

I'm so happy that I finally get to understand you more, though sometimes I feel like its hard to understand through your perspective, I've learned to place my position in your foot once in a while. I think now I'm getting a bigger picture, and I've learned to appreciate your hard work and passion you have in your field. Every week seems like I'm less seeing you, considering we only meet twice a week. Work on weekdays, and work on weekends. But I completely understand, you run a business and I know youre just doing you job. I also understand that you are so tired from work on saturdays and just wanna head home and rest, and though my heart doesnt accept, I've learned this week that you truly work so hard, and I'm really proud of you.

Happy big 2, little 4 huntut. I love you.

It's been a while since I blogged. I've been enjoying my summer, and even though I spend most of my mondays and tuesdays at home, I feel so relaxed and just love the feeling of sleeping and waking up late. I still havent decided what to do or where to go for this very long summer vacation, but I hope I figure out something soon! I really want to get out of the City, and go some place totally different. I just need to find the right time and the right place. I'm terrible at planning. Nothing ever comes out right, so I'm trying not to plan much. haha...



I'm so tired of san francico's weather. It's been nothing but ugly. These past few days has been cold, windy, not so foggy, but just plain ugly. Today was showering and so so foggy. Hatesss itttttt! I miss the warm hot weather. It doesnt even feel like summer. May it be summer or winter, it is always cold.

Alrighttt, I have nothing else to say for now. Till then :)

Decisions or decisions...

I never thought buying a car would be so difficult. The process itself is already confusing. My boyfriend is in the car industry and though he knows alot about cars, it can be too much! My parents wants me to get this, and he wants me to get that, and I'm stuck in the middle deciding which one is the perfect car for me. Safety is number one, price is number 2. At least that's the way I see it. Ahhh, I'm so confused. This is gonna take a long time....haiyaaaa.

I've been sitting in front of my laptop since yesterday night and today morning searching for the perfect car, but we all know my decision does not count because my parents would not agree anyways! I seriously need to get up and stop sitting in front of my laptop or else I`ll go crazy!

ahhh, help me!!!